in many countries in the world people buy clothes and choose hairstyles according to latest fashion. why is this happening? is this a positive or a negative development?

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In several countries worldwide, people buy clothes and choose hairstyles

according to

Linking Words

the latest fashion. I opine that nowadays many modern professions need certain looks in order to gain trust and respect. It is a negative development, in my view,

this

Linking Words

trend could form a depression in the population. On the one hand, the main reason behind

this

Linking Words

trend is many occupations in the modern days can

therefore

Linking Words

gain a positive outcome by following the latest style.

For example

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, in Thailand, the lawyer may find it easier to get a client by wearing clothes

according to

Linking Words

the newest fashion.

This

Linking Words

can result in significant profit.

In addition

Linking Words

, it may be difficult for a great number of citizens to trust

such

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lawyers who do not choose their appearances

according to

Linking Words

the newest style. Stylish outfits can be

otherwise

Linking Words

projected as an open-minded personality.

On the other hand

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, the key problem is buying modern clothes can be

hence

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ultimately expensive.

For instance

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, in order to follow the latest fashion people need to keep buying new shirts or pants, constantly.

Thus

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, one will encounter several financial problems

such

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as bankruptcy.

For

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

reason, citizens will develop a negative sense of well-being.

Consequently

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, they may find themselves unworthy and can potentially develop depression in most of the population.

To conclude

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, from my perspective, the key reason behind

this

Linking Words

prospect is nowadays society a lot of professions need certain looks in order to gain trust and respect. I think that it is a negative development for society.

This

Linking Words

trend could start a noticeable number of depressed people worldwide

amittawinThu Feb 08 2024

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structure

The essay has a structure, but it needs more clear and distinct paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph should contain one central idea with supporting examples.

introduction/conclusion

Introduction should paraphrase the question and provide a clear thesis statement. The conclusion needs to summarize the main points without adding new information.

coherence

Ensure clear topic sentences at the beginning of each body paragraph and use linking words to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.

support

Give specific examples to support your main points. Each claim should be backed up with evidence or an example that is directly related to the question.

task response

Address the question directly and make sure to discuss both parts of the question: why the trend is happening and its positive or negative impact.

language

Avoid ambiguous expressions and keep the language formal. Check for grammar and vocabulary errors to improve clarity and accuracy.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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in many countries in the world people buy clothes and choose hairstyles according to latest fashion. why is this happening? is this a positive or a negative development?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people say that large, impressive buildings are important for a city. Others believe that the money should be spent on improving schools and hospitals. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some schools are very strict about their school uniforms and the appearance of their pupils, while other schools have a very relaxed dress code. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children of having a school uniform

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every young person how to be a good parent. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Describe the skills a person needs to be a good parent.

The most effective way to solve traffic and transport problems in the cities is to encourage people from the suburbs or the countryside to live in the cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?