Nowadays, most children prefer to spend several hours playing with electronic devices over doing more traditional leisure activities. What problem does this cause? What do you think are possible solutions?

In
this
period of
time
, in most societies, differences in play between present and past are significantly huge. The young generation is keen on spending a tremendous amount of valuable
time
using a piece of modern technology rather than playing outside
games
like our ancestors. In the following essay, I would like to shed light on its consequences
as well as
suggest certain measures to alleviate the global issue.
To begin
with, in regards to the
problem
, the major result which can be stated is that there are numerous detrimental effects of playing online
games
too much to
children
's not merely physical, but
also
mental health. In support of
this
, one of the medical facts is that watching the screen for more than 180 minutes can cause poor eyesight
along with
some serious diseases in our nervous system. The youth may be nervous, sleepless and even get brain cancer.
However
,
children
cannot realise
its
Change the word
the
show examples
terrible consequences that will affect them in the long run. Today, as you can see most terrible diseases are appeared from people's early ages in comparison to the past. Because lack of mobility is the key reason for obesity. The youth sit down in front of their computers or gadgets and become overweight. Alternatively, overusing more comfortable technological inventions by
children
is just for pleasure. They play video
games
and meanwhile
due to
instant results, the amount of dopamine increases simultaneously and
also
the desire to play more will increase.
For
this
reason, gradually they do not want to study, read or do their homework. As
time
goes on,
children
spend their whole day in small and dark rooms. And I think that without knowledge individuals cannot survive. In
this
case, Albert Einstein stated that I fear the day that technology will surpass human knowledge at that
time
the world will have a generation of idiots. Probing ahead, seeing the
problem
with a brighter mind, many solutions can be helpful to curb
this
menace. One of the solutions is that to tackle
this
issue parental supervision is in great demand. All
parents
try to control their offspring to spend how much
time
playing computer
games
and reading books.
Moreover
, the relationships among family members strengthen ,
parents
talk and even play with their
children
traditional outside
games
as well. So they might find it interesting and start avoiding online
games
.
This
may help not only decline the illnesses that originated owing to the overusing of electronic devices
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
resolve the
problem
of a generation gap.
Therefore
,
parents
and teachers use good temper and good sense and try to find out where the
children
's real interests lie and guide the energy to these channels over playing pointless
games
. By way of conclusion, I once again restate my view that the advancements in technology have brought incredible changes to the ways that the young spend their free
time
. Unfortunately,
this
leads to great issues in
children
's health and the future.
Nonetheless
, with the joints of the
parents
and teachers control can be taken over the
problem
with the aforementioned suggested measures.
Submitted by aakhtamov on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: