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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many of the products we buy nowadays break or wear out very quickly. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this for manufacturers and the public?

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It is often said that
items
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 that are produced today are easily broken.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 essay examines the positive consequences including affordability and profitability,
as well as
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 the negatives including overspending, environmental concerns and distrust of industry. There are several advantages for both the public and producers of lower-quality products.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in Japan where 100 yen shops are prevalent, people are able to purchase more
items
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 at a lower cost from utensils to fashions.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they can try various
items
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 of different designs and effects with more ease without having many financial concerns. As their incentives for shopping rise, manufacturers can boost their profits, which promotes them to take more active marketing strategies including inventing more novel
items
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 and increasing their advertising.
In contrast
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there are drawbacks to be highlighted, resulting from
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 a modern trend. In fact, the frustration among consumers grows dramatically when they realize that the
items
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 are not durable enough to facilitate their daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives

It seems that life may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they have to replace them frequently, which increases their spending.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there is an escalating concern for environmental damage with increasing waste being created by consumers buying more fragile merchandise made of plastic and nylon. These factors lead to a rising sense of distrust of the public users toward the companies.
Consequently
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the industries will face detrimental impacts as they need to deal with a number of complaints, which makes it hard for them to manage and expand their business. In conclusion, the consumers are more easily able to afford the breakable products in contemporary markets and their increasing habit of shopping for them will make the business more lucrative for the companies.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it leads to their increasing expenditure and poses serious effects on nature, which makes them more suspicious of the manufacturers.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Work on diversification and complexity of sentence structures to enhance the overall readability and sophistication of your essay. While the current structure adequately conveys the message, more varied sentence types could provide a more engaging read.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more specific examples and data to back up your points. While the essay mentions general advantages and disadvantages, adding more detailed examples can strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have done well in structuring the essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids in the reader's understanding.
Task Achievement
The essay successfully addresses the prompt, outlining both the advantages and disadvantages for manufacturers and the public, fulfilling the task requirements.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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