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Band 6

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

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Traditional and cultural teachings play a vital role in
children
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's
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. Even in some traditions, young ones are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough.
This
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 teaching made
children
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 positive towards their
work
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.
However
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, hard
work
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 is just ordinary
work
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 if
that is
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 done without any mentorship. Being motivated and hardworking can be mentioned as the two advantages of
this
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 learning.
In other words
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, if we teach young ones that they can achieve anything in their
life
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 if they
work
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 in a persistent manner, they will get motivated and take any
work
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 in their
life
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 in a positive aspect.
This
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 will
also
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 build a sense of hard effort in the
children
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.
For instance
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, whenever they encounter any
work
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 or difficult situation in their
life
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, they know how to deal with it. Even they will handle the situation with focus and win over it.
Hence
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,
this
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 teaching can teach minors about being productive and focused.
In contrast
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, hard
work
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 without any mentorship or strategy is often considered a waste of time. To be more precise, there should be someone who can guide the
children
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 about anything which they need to achieve and young ones need to follow the direction with hard
work
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 and focus.
For example
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, if a juvenile failed an exam even though he worked so hard to pass it
then
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 he needs a mentor
in addition
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 to that hard
work
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. A proper strategy and leadership mixed with hard
work
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 can achieve almost anything.
Thus
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, hard effort to achieve anything should be done under the correct guidance and mentor. In conclusion, the message that minors can get anything if they effort consistently comes with its own advantages and disadvantages. Positivity and consistency can be classified as its benefits
while
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 ordinary hard
work
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 without any instruction can be mentioned as a disadvantage of
this
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 message.
Lastly
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, it can be recommended that we
need to
Verb problem
apply
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add a simple rule in
this
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 message, i.e., persistent hard
work
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 with true mentorship can help you to achieve anything.

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task response
Task response: The essay addresses the prompt and presents both advantages and disadvantages of giving children the message that they can achieve anything through hard work. However, the essay could provide a more balanced discussion by offering examples for both advantages and disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The essay has a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion. However, the organization of ideas within paragraphs and the connection between sentences could be improved. Use of cohesive devices such as transition words and pronouns could enhance the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
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