The diagram below shows information about the production of beer. Write a report for a university lecture

The diagram below shows information about the production of beer. Write a report for a university lecture
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he
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The
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given diagram depicts the
process
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of how the beer is manufactured. By and large, there are eight steps involved in
this
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process
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, commencing with milling and ending with packaging for commercial purposes.
To begin
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with, the malted barleys which are the main elements in making the beer are milled using
milling
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a milling
the milling
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machine. After that, the milled barleys are added with water before placing into mashing and lautering chambers. In Lautering chamber some of the milled barleys are produced as a by-product for feeding the animal, but the
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
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substances undergo
boiling
Correct article usage
a boiling
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process
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which takes place in the other chamber.
In
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At
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this
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level, they are boiled
in
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to
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certain
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a certain
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degree,
mixed
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and mixed
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with sugar and hops before being placed in
whirlpool
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the whirlpool
a whirlpool
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and
then
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cooled with
advanced
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an advanced
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machine.
Furthermore
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,
the next step is
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fermenting
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a fermenting
the fermenting
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process
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. In
this
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stage, the mixture is fermented with yeast to release the yeast and CO2 into the air. Afterwards, it experiences maturing stage in which the mixture is put
them
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apply
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inside the two tanks before filtering to purify them utilizing
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an advance
the advance
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advance
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advanced
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machine to make sure they are safe to consume.
Finally
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, they are ready for
packaging
Correct article usage
the packaging
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process
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and distribution to several markets around the city.
Submitted by ieltscuns2022 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words process with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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