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Band 5

The diagram below shows information about the production of beer. Write a report for a university lecture

The diagram below shows information about the production of beer. Write a report for a university lecture
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he
Correct your spelling
The
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 given diagram depicts the
process
Use synonyms
 of how the beer is manufactured. By and large, there are eight steps involved in
this
Linking Words
process
Use synonyms
, commencing with milling and ending with packaging for commercial purposes.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the malted barleys which are the main elements in making the beer are milled using
milling
Add an article
a milling
the milling
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 machine. After that, the milled barleys are added with water before placing into mashing and lautering chambers. In Lautering chamber some of the milled barleys are produced as a by-product for feeding the animal, but the
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
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 substances undergo
boiling
Correct article usage
a boiling
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process
Use synonyms
 which takes place in the other chamber.
In
Change preposition
At
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this
Linking Words
 level, they are boiled
in
Change preposition
to
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certain
Add an article
a certain
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 degree,
mixed
Correct word choice
and mixed
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 with sugar and hops before being placed in
whirlpool
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the whirlpool
a whirlpool
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 and
then
Linking Words
 cooled with
advanced
Correct article usage
an advanced
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 machine.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
the next step is
Linking Words
fermenting
Add an article
a fermenting
the fermenting
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process
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 stage, the mixture is fermented with yeast to release the yeast and CO2 into the air. Afterwards, it experiences maturing stage in which the mixture is put
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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inside the two tanks before filtering to purify them utilizing
Add an article
an advance
the advance
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advance
Replace the word
advanced
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 machine to make sure they are safe to consume.
Finally
Linking Words
, they are ready for
packaging
Correct article usage
the packaging
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process
Use synonyms
 and distribution to several markets around the city.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words process with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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