IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows the places visited by different people living in Canada

The chart below shows the places visited by different people living in Canada
#places #people #canada
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The bar chart illustrates places that
people
Use synonyms
 living in
Canada
Use synonyms
visits
Fix the agreement mistake
visit
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. It is evident that theatre is the least favourite of all Canadians with new migrants born in other
countries
Use synonyms
have
Wrong verb form
having
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 the lowest visit rate of only 10%.
Overall
Linking Words
, 65%
migrants
Change preposition
of migrants
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 born in
Use synonyms
english
Change the capitalization
English
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 speaking
countries
Use synonyms
 and 70%
Canada
Use synonyms
 born
people
Use synonyms
enjoys
Correct subject-verb agreement
enjoy
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cinema
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, 55%
immigrant
Change preposition
of immigrant
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 born outside of
Use synonyms
canada
Change the capitalization
Canada
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 in
non
Add a hyphen
non-english
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english
Use synonyms
 speaking places prefers
library
Correct article usage
the library
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 compared to only 50% of them that loves
Use synonyms
cinema
Correct article usage
the cinema
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, 50% of
people
Use synonyms
 born in
countries
Use synonyms
 that
speaks
Change the verb form
speak
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Use synonyms
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
 and 42% of
people
Use synonyms
 born in
Canada
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 often visits zoo,
while
Linking Words
 theatre is not the top choice for all kind of
people
Use synonyms
 that lives in
Canada
Use synonyms
 with 25% of resident born in
Use synonyms
english-speaking
Change the capitalization
English-speaking
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countries
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, we can say that Canadians that are not born in
coutries
Correct your spelling
countries
 that
does
Change the verb form
do
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 not speak
Use synonyms
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
 prefer to visit
cinema
Use synonyms
 and zoo
compares
Wrong verb form
compared
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 to theatres and libraries.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Canadians that are born in
countries
Use synonyms
 that
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
 not speak
Use synonyms
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
 prefers
cinema
Use synonyms
 and library.
Submitted by honzent99 on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, canada, countries, english, cinema with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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