The best way to reduce youth crimes is to educate their parents with parental skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some
people
think that youth crimes can be reduced in the
society by teaching their Correct article usage
apply
parents
how to nourish their children
in the right ways. Although
parents
’ behaviours affect the
Change the word
their
children
much, people
can not deny that there are many other impacts that change the way children
act
too. Therefore
, I partially agree with that opinion.
On the one hand, schools, neighbors and many other environment
influence the Change to a plural noun
environments
children
’s actions. Firstly
, school, where young people
spend most of their time from 6-18 years old, can change how they think and act
. Terrible friends will make them from very right-minded subjects to wrong-thinking subjects. That kind of friends
can teach the Fix the agreement mistake
friend
children
things like bullying, sexual harassment or copying others
work without learning. Change noun form
others'
other's
Next,
neighbors
around Change the spelling
neighbours
children
can have an effect on their moral
because Correct your spelling
morale
children
sometimes go out after school. Parents
can not choose who lives next to or around their families so they can not prevent the impacts of their neighbors on their children
.
On the other hand
, how parents
act
will determine their child’s characteristics from the
young age. When Correct article usage
a
children
born
, Add a missing verb
are born
who
they Correct pronoun usage
apply
meet
Verb problem
apply
the
first Correct article usage
apply
is
their Verb problem
meet
parents
. Children
spend first
5 years Correct article usage
the first
in
their life only with their Change preposition
of
parents
without going to school. Nowadays, most of all parents
do not know how to teach their children
in the right way but only teach instinctively. As a result
, many children
learn unpleasant ways of thinking and characteristics from their parents
. More than that, people
often say that children
are reflections of both mothers and fathers. Therefore
, parents
have to act
in a way that makes their children
are
well-moral in the future.
In conclusion, both parental skills and other living environments shape Unnecessary verb
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
children
’s behaviours in different ways.Submitted by cathyngo1512 on
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task achievement
Expand on your examples to make your arguments stronger and more illustrative. Specific incidents or broader studies could enrich your essay.
coherence cohesion
To improve cohesion, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay effectively introduces and concludes the topic, providing a clear overview of your stance.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical structure throughout, which helps in presenting your arguments coherently.
task achievement
You've managed to provide a balanced view by discussing the influence of both parents and external factors on youth behavior, which aligns well with the task's requirements.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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