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Writing Samples
Band 6

what are the advantages and disadvantages of using cameras to fight crime?

#cameras #fight #crime
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These days,
CCTV
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cameras
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 are the well-known
cameras
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 to haunt crime. many crimes are monitored by
CCTV
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cameras
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. But what are the benefits of these
cameras
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, and what are the drawbacks? In
this
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 essay, we will look at both parts and try to draw some conclusions. Let’s begin by looking at the advantages of using
CCTV
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cameras
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. One of the main positives of using
CCTV
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cameras
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 is good security and increased safety. So, with
CCTV
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cameras
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, it is easy to monitor that environment and check and fix if a problem or issue happens.
secondly
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, these
cameras
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 can save the evidence inside their memory so
this
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 can help security
people
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 to check the issue or crime in a better way. Turning to the other side of the argument,
CCTV
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cameras
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 in some points can affect the privacy of
people
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 I mean that maybe some
people
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 in some places need privacy and feel uncomfortable. Another issue is that because the
cameras
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 work with technology some crime
that is
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 saved inside it can be hacked or removed by hackers. many
people
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 over at work can easily access these software’s devices and hack them. All things considered, there are clear advantages of using
CCTV
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cameras
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,
however
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, it has its problems
such
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 as hackers and hackers ' privacy and so on. I prefer places to use
this
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 kind of camera because I feel peace in my mind and they can provide clear and objective evidence of
criminal
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criminals
show examples
.
Submitted by bahram.azizzade on

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Task Achievement
Your essay opens up a clear discussion on the advantages and disadvantages of using CCTV cameras to fight crime, yet there are areas where you could delve deeper into the subject to enhance your task response. Try to explore the implications of your points further, perhaps by considering how these advantages and disadvantages impact society on a broader scale. Adding more detailed examples, statistics, or referencing specific cases where CCTV has been pivotal would also enrich your argument.
You have structured your essay in a logical manner but could improve its coherence by ensuring smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Phrases like \
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay shows a promising structure and organization, with paragraphs dedicated to discussing different aspects of the topic. However, the coherence could be enhanced by improving the flow between sentences and ideas. Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more effectively. Additionally, paying closer attention to paragraph structure -- ensuring each one starts with a clear topic sentence and follows logically with supporting information -- will better guide the reader through your arguments.
Introduction & Conclusion
While your introduction and conclusion are present and provide a clear overview and summation of your views, they could be strengthened. In your introduction, consider providing a more detailed background or context for the issue at hand. In your conclusion, strive to not only summarize the points made but also offer a final, reflective thought or a call to action that leaves a lasting impression on the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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