In some countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people believe that governments have the responsibility to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is no denying the fact that in some places in the world, children are getting obese and unhealthy.
While
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it is a commonly held belief that individuals think that governments take responsibility to solve
this
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issue, there is
also
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an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, l agree that the government should take the lead in order to be a healthier place.
To begin
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with, taking a yearly check-up from the age of one until fourteen will decrease the overweight of kids.
In other words
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, everyone has to have health insurance in order to be in good shape.
In addition
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, children must have an active lifestyle and supportive parents.
For example
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, the food that has been taken should have the needed nutrition like every breakfast which should consist of apples and eggs. Another point to consider, schools must have running classes and power food in the cafeteria. It is
also
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possible to say that an active
life
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is very important for every child and family can be a big part of the kid's
life
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.
Moreover
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,gaining weight wouldn't happen often
due to
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a healthy
life
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.
For instance
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, swimming and running will be effective in the long run of their
life
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. In conclusion, despite people having different views. I believe that governments should make many programs and activities to solve the physical issue.
This
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will help many kids over the years to have better growth. As we said there are many factors affecting the child's
life
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but the most important one is the family.

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task achievement
Improve the clarity of your main ideas and ensure they are well explained. For instance, clarify how yearly check-ups directly relate to decreasing childhood obesity.
coherence and cohesion
Use more varied cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs effectively. This will help improve the flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea. This will help readers understand the focus of each section more easily.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion on the role of government in addressing childhood obesity, which aligns with the task.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main point, emphasizing the importance of government intervention.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • childhood obesity
  • unhealthy eating habits
  • physical activity
  • government intervention
  • government policies
  • education and awareness programs
  • food industry regulation
  • marketing restrictions
  • parental responsibility
  • school curriculum
  • health education
  • health promotion
  • public health issue
  • preventive measures
  • lifestyle changes
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • junk food
  • healthier alternatives
  • obesity epidemic
  • public funds
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