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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It is better for college students to live in schools than live at home with their parents. Do you agree or disagree?

#college #students #schools #home #parents
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Nowadays, some individuals believe that living in
schools
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 is better for college
students
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 than living with their
parents
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 at
home
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. From my point of view, I slightly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement as it enhances the independent
skills
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for
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of
show examples
students
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.
However
Linking Words
, living at
home
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 with
parents
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 still brings us some benefits, especially for our physical health. On the one hand, one of the reasons why university
students
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 should live in
schools
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 is that
this
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 can be an opportunity for them to promote self-reliance. Since
students
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 will learn to manage their own schedules, cook their own meals, and solve their problems by themselves
while
Linking Words
 living in
schools
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, they can practice their independent abilities.
As a result
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, undergraduate
students
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 should live in colleges as it will help them develop their soft
skills
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 and social
skills
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, emotional supporters can be a reason for college
students
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 to live at
home
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 with their
parents
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. Sometimes
home
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 can be seen as a healing soul where we have our
parents
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 who can help us to overcome our issues and give us a lot of helpful advice. Because of that, staying at
home
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 with
parents
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 can help us to improve our physical health better than
with
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apply
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staying at university. In conclusion, I firmly agree that it is better for
students
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 to live in school than live at
home
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 with their
parents
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 as both options have their own advantages.
While
Linking Words
 living at
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schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
 will help
students
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 to increase their self-reliance and develop soft
skills
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, living at
home
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 will benefit their physical health.
Submitted by cathyngo1512 on

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relevant specific examples
Your essay could be improved by adding more specific examples to support your points, which would make your arguments more convincing and compelling.
clear comprehensive ideas
Try to make your ideas clearer with more detailed explanations. This will help the reader to follow your argument more easily.
coherence
While the structure of your essay is strong, consider adding a few more transitions between ideas to improve the flow of your argument.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps make your argument more coherent and easier to follow.
logical structure
You have a logical structure in your essay which makes it easy to follow your argument. You have clearly divided your essay into paragraphs, each focusing on a different point.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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