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Band 6.5

Some people think that men and women have different qualities. Therefore, some certain jobs are suitable for men and some jobs are suitable for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #men #women #qualities #jobs
Some believe that males and females possess distinctive qualities so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
some
jobs
 suit
men
 better whilst others tailor to
women
. Personally, I completely disagree with
this
 view.
This
 essay will discuss my viewpoint with detailed reasons and relevant examples. First of all, no
intelligence
 is proven to be gender specific. In the past,
men
 were found to be outnumbering
women
 in certain fields, notably the STEM (science, technology, engineering and math) subjects. one that suggests
men
 are more suitable for performing STEM-related
jobs
 than
women
due to
 the stereotypical thinking about the disparity in certain types of
intelligence
,
such
 as logical-mathematical
intelligence
. But over time,
women
 have demonstrated their intellectual capability and strength in the aforementioned fields,
such
 as Madame Curie, Annie Easley, Zhenyi Wang, and Youyou Tu. It can be inferred that
intelligence
 is a gender-natural concept
,
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 and that
men
 and
women
 can do equally well in the seemingly manly fields.
Secondly
, with the development of machines,
men
's advantages in physical strength will gradually disappear, which means that heavy physical work
that is
 only suitable for
men
 will gradually disappear.
For example
, miners, construction workers, farmers, etc. These
jobs
 will be replaced by machines and robots in the near future.
Therefore
,
jobs
 that are only suitable for
men
 will gradually decrease and be replaced by
jobs
 that are suitable for both genders,
such
 as computer programmers.
Thirdly
,
men
 can work as patiently as
women
. It is a common stereotype that most
men
 are more irritated than
women
.
Therefore
,
men
 are not suitable for
jobs
 that require
patience
,
such
 as nurses. In fact, lack of
patience
 is not caused by
men
’s innate qualities. It is found to be closely related to early childhood education and family influence. Most parents do not treat boys with the same tenderness as girls when they educate their children.
As a consequence
, from a very young age, they seem to become more irritable than
women
. With the improvement of educational concepts,
this
 situation has changed.
According to
 statistics, the number of male nurses has risen steadily since 1970.
This
 proves that
men
 are capable of
jobs
 that require
patience
. Given that
intelligence
 is a gender-neutral concept,
jobs
 that require physical strength will be gradually replaced by machines, and more
men
 have taken occupations that require a high level of
patience
, it can be concluded that
men
 and
women
 are equally capable of performing any
jobs
.
Hence
, fixating on the belief that gender determines the suitability of occupations does not seem to be appropriate.
Submitted by 1211468691 on

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task response
Your response provides a comprehensive and well-structured analysis of the topic. You effectively refute the argument and provide clear reasons and examples to support your viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
Your essay displays excellent coherence and cohesion. The logical flow of ideas is well-maintained, and the use of linking words and cohesive devices enhances the overall coherence of the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender roles
  • inherent qualities
  • social dynamics
  • merit-based selection
  • advancements in technology
  • levelled the playing field
  • gender stereotypes
  • equal opportunities
  • physical differences
  • workplace
  • evolving
  • traditional view
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