IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people believe that technology has made man more social. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #technology #man
It is argued that technological advancements have improved sociability in society or
conversely
 reduce the level of society. Personally, I totally disagree with the former statement.
Although
 by using the internet and portable devices,
people
 can be connected all the time with others. Despite
this
, humans are losing confidence in
people
 and they just stop connecting with other
people
. First of all, advances in social media allow
people
 to meet each other and have conversations with different friends around the world.
Moreover
, they can be connected with old friends and family all the time in a couple of minutes, not being the distance between them a problem at all.
For instance
, social media provides a community with the majority of groups where
people
 are able to share their own experiences if their interests are common.
As a result
, willing
people
 can become acquaintances via various applications in order to be sociable enough.
On the contrary
, some individuals can overuse the opportunities of the virtual world. It is inevitable that sometimes
people
 excessively share their personal life with strangers on the net, and
as a consequence
 suffer from bullying or harassment, which causes social phobia and obviously harms their affability. As an example, mainly teenagers are the victims of
such
 problems since they are becoming obsessed with the internet community and may lose awareness of danger. In my way of conclusion, technological globalization influences positively in terms of limitless opportunities for communication at the expense of reducing personal security.
Submitted by medetbaevk on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • social interaction
  • connect
  • communicate
  • video conferencing
  • stay in touch
  • online communities
  • forums
  • like-minded individuals
  • global communication
  • collaboration
  • access to information
  • knowledge
  • bridge the gap
  • social isolation
  • detachment
  • face-to-face communication
  • genuine human connection
  • maintain
  • real-life interactions
  • balance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: