General training -writing task 1 -Formal letter You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six-year old child.Write a letter to the parents .In your letter -explain why would like the job -give details why you would be a suitable person to employ -say how you spend your free time while you are in Australia

#advertisement #australian #magazine #someone #six #months #child #parents #-explain #job #-give #person #-say #time #australia

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Dear Madam, My name is Parthvi and I am writing

this

letter to show interest in the employment opportunity that has been advertised by you in an Australian magazine. I strongly believe that I would be the perfect fit for

this

position. Regarding myself, I would like to provide some details , which can justify why I am

the

Correct article usage

show examples

suitable person for

this

employment.

Firstly

, the contributing factor is my current education , I am pursuing a master’s in child care and growth. The reason behind taking

this

course is actually my love and fondness for small children.

Moreover

, back in India, I have worked as an elementary school teacher and

also

been rewarded as the best teacher title in that school. Two months ago I moved to Australia and I am already loving

this

country , in my leisure time I paint . I am a certified sketch artist and if I am getting an opportunity to be interviewed I can discuss more details about myself. Would you be kind enough to take my application into consideration? Hoping to hear from you soon. Yours faithfully,

Submitted by mhsawdeparthvi29 on Sat Mar 23 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear single idea or theme. The second paragraph could be divided to separate your educational background from your professional experience for clearer coherence.

In the introduction, directly state your purpose for writing to improve task response. For instance: 'I am writing to express my interest in the position of taking care of your six-year-old child, advertised in an Australian magazine.','type':'Task Achievement'

Task Response

Enhance your conclusion by not only expressing hope for a positive response but also suggesting a step forward, such as offering availability for an interview or asking about the next steps in the application process.

Coherence and Cohesion

For better coherence and cohesion, transition phrases could be used more effectively to connect your ideas smoothly from one paragraph to another.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

Dear + name
Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

186 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

caregiver
childcare experience
passion for children
responsibility
patience
commitment
cultural immersion
local environment
community engagement
flexibility
references
qualifications
volunteer work
educational background
suitable candidate
enthusiasm
positive impact
personal attributes
willingness
explore

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The Greeting

Some argue that there is no point in spending money on wildlife protection because we humans have no need for them. I totally disagree with this view.

In the modern era, it is easy to sell, buy and work with others through the internet. But others are against it. Do you think this is a positive trend or a negative trend?

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Smoking is a habit that claims many lives and is a great drain on health services. One way to combat smoking would be to make it illegal. What are the pros and cons of such a government policy? What alternative strategies can you suggest to combat smoking?