The charts below give information on the ages of populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050.

The charts below give information on the ages of populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and 

projections for 2050.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie illustrates the proportion of
Yemen
Use synonyms
and Italy citizens in three different age groups between 2000 and 2050.
It is clear that
Linking Words
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
of
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
aged 0-14
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
Yemen
Use synonyms
and Italy tends to decrease.Meanwhile, the proportion of
young
Add an article
the young
show examples
population
Use synonyms
of
Yemen
Use synonyms
increase slightly.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
population
Use synonyms
of Italy drop significantly. In 2000,the percentage of
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
aged 0-14
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
Yemen
Use synonyms
accounts for more than half,compared
just
Change preposition
to just
show examples
over 14% of Italy.Only a very small percentage of people in
Yemen
Use synonyms
were over 60 at 3.6%,
in contrast
Linking Words
to nearly a quarter of the Italy
population
Use synonyms
.The largest group for Italy was the 15-59 year with just over 60%
while
Linking Words
Yemen
Use synonyms
had 46,3% of its
population
Use synonyms
in
this
Linking Words
group. In 2050 the proportion of
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
aged 15-59
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
in
Yemen
Use synonyms
go
Change the verb form
goes
show examples
up significantly to 57,3%,
in
Linking Words
contrast
Add the comma(s)
,contrast
show examples
Italy
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
sharply to 46,2%.the number of people in Italy over 60 years old increased to 42,3% higher than
Yemen
Use synonyms
only 5,7%.At the same time, the number of people aged 0-14 in both
Yemen
Use synonyms
and Italy decreased
Submitted by anhnguhongmai on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words yemen, population with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • age demographics
  • age structure
  • population distribution
  • youthful population
  • ageing population
  • life expectancy
  • birth rate
  • demographic shift
  • population projection
  • median age
  • dependents
  • working-age population
  • elderly dependents
  • geriatric
  • fertility rate
  • migration
  • demographic trends
  • baby boomers
  • demographic dividend
  • population pyramid
What to do next:
Look at other essays: