IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problem as a result of eating to much fast food. It is neccesary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#countries #people #health #food #neccesary #governments #tax
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Fast
food
Use synonyms
 is very common in almost all countries and its
demand
Use synonyms
 is consistently increasing. In some ,nations a large number of
people
Use synonyms
 are becoming unfit
due to
Linking Words
 excessive consumption of
junk
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
. I agree that increasing taxes on
this
Linking Words
 category of
food
Use synonyms
 will definitely reduce the
demand
Use synonyms
, I
also
Linking Words
 think at a certain point
people
Use synonyms
 will not stop eating it because they are addicted to it. The prime factor responsible, for society consuming fast
food
Use synonyms
 is because it is very cheap and easily available in the market. On average out of 10
people
Use synonyms
 8 eat these kinds of
food
Use synonyms
 every day and harms their digestive system
as well as
Linking Words
 their heart. Imposing taxes on these kinds of
food
Use synonyms
 is a great initiative to stop them from consuming it.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the public will
also
Linking Words
 spend the same money on fruits or healthy
food
Use synonyms
, which
as a result
Linking Words
 protects them from chronic diseases.
For instance
Linking Words
, in some cities of ,India the ruling authorities have increased tax rates by 18% on all categories of
junk
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
,
due to
Linking Words
 which
demand
Use synonyms
 has significantly reduced.
However
Linking Words
, it is an undeniable fact that addiction to anything is very harmful to each individual, imposing higher taxes will definitely reduce the sale of
junk
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
 but ,still
people
Use synonyms
 will eat it because here money is not the concern.
For instance
Linking Words
, society is addicted to alcohol which is very expensive but still thousands of
people
Use synonyms
 consume it and they know it will directly harm them still
demand
Use synonyms
 is very high ,
Linking Words
similarly
Add a comma
,similarly
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is the same situation with
junk
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
 the government should permanently ban
this
Linking Words
 category of
food
Use synonyms
 in their countries and provide other business opportunities to
junk
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
 sellers,
this
Linking Words
 is the only possible solution to protect
people
Use synonyms
. In a nutshell, increasing the price of
junk
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
 will not stop
people
Use synonyms
 from eating it, because
people
Use synonyms
 are addicted to it.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is the responsibility of the government to immediately ban it and promote healthy lifestyle campaigns to change the mindset of society.
Submitted by gsmultani506 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: