IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays, a lot of offices have open-space design insted of seperate rooms. Do the advantages outweight the disadvantages?

In recent years, more offices have started to create
open-plan
Use synonyms
 designs
instead
Linking Words
 of separate rooms.
While
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 it has some beneficial sides, the downsides totally outweigh them. Working in an
open-plan
Use synonyms
 environment has a positive effect on employees' mood. It creates a good atmosphere in the office
as well as
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 improves the relationship between staff members, which might lead to better performance.
For example
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, there is evidence which was taken from recent research, which has shown that people's brain works better when people are in a positive mood.
Thus
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, the right working vibe is created by working in an open space.
However
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, working in an
open-plan
Use synonyms
 place has two main downsides.
First,
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workers will not have their own space separated from others.
In other words
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, rooms will not be provided for workers, so they will struggle with noise coming outside , and they may have problems with concentration.
Secondly
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, having your own working room is better, because employers will have the opportunity to keep essential documents or private objects in a safe place. It will reduce the number of small robberies or the loss of some documents. It's recommended for companies,
therefore
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, to avoid using
open-plan
Use synonyms
 workplaces
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 in order to provide a more enjoyable workplace for their professionals. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 open-space design can provide a better atmosphere and develop relationships among staff,
this
Linking Words
 design limits staff from having a personal room to keep valuable items,
also
Linking Words
 their concentration will fall because of noise. It's better for companies to choose separate rooms rather than an
open-plan
Use synonyms
 workplace.

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structure
Make a wider plan in the intro and end with a clear restatement of your view.
structure
Link your ideas with more easy joining words and keep a steady flow.
content
Add more real examples or details to show each idea.
content
The essay states a clear view against open-plan design.
structure
There is a visible plan with a start and end paragraph.
structure
Some good effort to pair ideas in simple form.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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