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Writing Samples /
Band 6

Foreign visitors should pay for more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extant do you agree or disagree

#visitors #attractions
It seems apparent that
tourists
 from overseas ought to pay more
money
 in comparison to local residents to enter various monuments and historical infrastructures.I totally disagree with the motion and believe that payment should be exactly the same. From one perspective providing that
tourists
 would be charged
money
 for cultural places, it would bring income and benefit for the economy to the owner of the attractions as they expenditure on a wide range of goods and services ,including food accommodation,travel and souvenirs.To take the Hawai as an example,tourism is the lifeblood of Hawaiʼs economy and tourism provides its population with funds.
Consequently
, they can encourage people to visit a country.
Moreover
, it seems logical to charge visitors who come from abroad more
money
 to enter monumental premises.
This
 is simply because the vast majority of establishments are state-owned, and authorities fund those from taxes which are collected from dwellers.
For instance
, the Louvre Museum in Paris assesses the tax price for residents to reconstruct and costs a lot of
money
 for
tourists
 to enter .
This
, in turn, can lead to enhancing the facilities of the museum. From another perspective,If
tourists
 realize that they would have to pay more than the local population to enter ,they decide not to go to that country on holiday.
Therefore
 they psychologically feel unhappy and it can impact the country's economy.
Hence
,charges should be equal for all people .,
Similarly
 If
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 increase the ticket price ,the number of visitors who come decreases.Thereby ,there would be the risk of insufficient funding for the maintenance of important buildings.
To sum up
,
although
 ,to increase prices for
tourists
 from foreign can benefit the government.
It is clear that
 it does not enhance tourism income .I believe that visitors should pay the same
money
 for all services.
Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on

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task response
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents your position (agree, disagree, or partially agree) and outlines the main points you will address in the body of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices to link ideas within and between sentences and paragraphs. Consider using transition words and phrases to improve the flow of your ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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