IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that nowadays we have too much choice. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #choice
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There is no denying the fact that
people
Use synonyms
 have a variety of options in all life fields.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that our
choice
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are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 not limited any more, there is
also
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 an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that we deal with multi
choice
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 in occupation chance or even entertainment activities.
To begin
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 with, spending time for fun recently become a little
confused
Replace the word
confusing
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due to
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different
Correct article usage
the different
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 available options, in
other word
Change the wording
another word
other words
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 in the past pleasure are determine by want to cinema, restaurants and parks only contrast present,
in addition
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,
people
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 today have
ability
Change the article
the ability
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 to do more different fun activities
such
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 as play video games, watch youtube or even post in TikTok.
For example
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, if someone
want
Change the verb form
wants
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watch
Fix the infinitive
to watch
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movie
Add an article
a movie
the movie
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 he will not only go to
cinema
Correct article usage
the cinema
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 he
also
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 can enjoy watching
Correct pronoun usage
it in
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in
Change preposition
at
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home
Add an article
the home
a home
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 by
subscribe
Change the verb form
subscribing
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 to one of the movie
platform
Change to a plural noun
platforms
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 that
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 movies, documentary and TV show. Another point to consider,
people
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 today have
work
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 opportunities in
variety
Replace the word
various
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places
Change preposition
of places
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, it is
also
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 possible to say that the main purpose of
work
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 is
get
Change the verb form
to get
getting
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 money which become easier nowadays and more possible because we live in
era
Add an article
an era
the era
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 of
choice
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,
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moreover
Add a comma
,moreover
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 the social media platform
add
Change the verb form
adds
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unlimited
Add an article
the unlimited
an unlimited
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 chance to achieve the purpose you run your own business or
work
Use synonyms
 distance.
For instance
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, a variety
Use synonyms
Change preposition
of choice
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choice
Fix the agreement mistake
choices
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 that we have let us complete our
work
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 remotely in covid 19 quarantine. In conclusion, despite
people
Use synonyms
 having different views, I believe
have
Wrong verb form
having
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 a
mach
Correct your spelling
much
choice
Use synonyms
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 our
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
more
Change the word
apply
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easier.
Submitted by aa-mm.dd on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • decision fatigue
  • myriad
  • dissatisfaction
  • regret
  • paralysis of action
  • empowers
  • preferences
  • innovation
  • competitiveness
  • fosters
What to do next:
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