Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

#government #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #governments #services

These days, the

government

spends a large part of its budget not only on public

services

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

on the

arts

Although

I agree that it is important to spend

money

on public

services

, I do not think spending

additionally

on the

arts

is a waste of

money

. There are several reasons for spending a significant amount of the

government

budget on public

services

. First and foremost, public

services

are

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

things

such

as hospitals, roads and schools, and these things determine the quality of life that most of us will have.

For example

, if the

government

does not spend enough

money

on hospitals, the health of our society may decline.

Similarly

, if not enough

money

is spent on schools, our children may not be properly educated.

Also

, it will be the poor in our society that will be affected more if we do not spend enough on these things because they are the ones more dependent on

such

services

However

this

does not mean that the

arts

should be completely neglected.

To begin

, it is difficult for many

arts

institutions to generate much profit, so without some help from the

government

, many theatres and other

such

places may have to close.

Moreover

, the

arts

also

have an important impact on our quality of life. Many people get great pleasure in going to see music and theatre performances so it is important that the

government

assists

such

institutions so that they can continue to provide entertainment to the public.

To sum up

, there are clear benefits of ensuring a large amount of investment goes into public

services

this

influences the quality of life for nearly all of us. That said, I do not believe spending

money

on the

arts

is a waste of

money

this

too provides important benefits.

Submitted by Rosa on Sat Jul 08 2023

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task response

Ensure a clear thesis statement at the beginning of the essay to clearly state your position on the given topic.

coherence and cohesion

Although the essay has a logical structure, the introduction and conclusion need to be more explicit and strong.

lexical resource

Good use of varied vocabulary and expressions. It is recommended to include more advanced vocabulary to enhance the lexical resource.

grammatical range

The essay demonstrates a good control of grammar. Try to incorporate more complex sentence structures to further enhance the grammatical range.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

301 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural enrichment
expression of creativity
promote diversity
enhance social cohesion
boost tourism
job creation
stimulate economic growth
improve quality of life
essential services
maintenance and development

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Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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