Some people say that parents have more important roles to play in children development.However, others argue that friends and television have the most significant influence. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #parents #roles #children #development #friends #television #influence

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Nowadays, kids get to spend a significant part of their time with their peers and watching tv programmes due

the

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to the

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fact that guardians have to work in order to provide

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for

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their families.

However

Linking Words

, many argue that

childrens

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children

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need their parents to be more present, to ensure that their development in life is

the

Correct article usage

apply

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adecuated

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adequate

Firstly

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, I

trully

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truly

believe that there are several

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apply

show examples

educational resources in the tv,

where

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which

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the youngster could take advantage,

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of to

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learn from experts to improve and evolve in knowledge whilst they are enjoying a funny and relaxing

momment

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moment

moments

in front of the screen. A recent study from the University of Irvine in

Califorfina

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California

, revelated that

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apply

show examples

its

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the

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mayority

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majority

kids are self

thaught

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taught

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by the influence of television and

electornic

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electronic

gadgets.

Secondly

Linking Words

, I strongly believe that

Remove the comma

apply

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there is

not

Correct your spelling

show examples

better influence in life

that

Correct word choice

than

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the

parents

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parent's

parents'

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roles models, even though guardians spend plenty of hours outside

home

Add an article

the home

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, there

are

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still time on the weekends to enjoy in family and influence

Correct pronoun usage

them in

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a positive way in their

childrens

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children's

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development, by playing educational games, discovering new hobbies and trying new sports. In resume, I consider that children can take positive advantages by watching tv as well,

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show examples

spending time with their parents,

kids

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kids'

kid's

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evolution depends

from

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show examples

various factors.

Submitted by marjorie2908 on Sat Jul 08 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

212 words

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Some people say that parents have more important roles to play in children development.However, others argue that friends and television have the most significant influence. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

a lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main course of income. unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctry. what are the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world? do you think that benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks?

Some young people look forward to a year of travelling, a gap year, before they work or university and see it as a chance to broaden their horizons. For others this is an expensive waste of time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many countries today the retirement age from work has been raised. Do the advantages of raising the retirement age outweigh the disadvantages?

In order to reduce crime, we need to attack the cause of crime such as poverty and lack of educational opportunities. It’s not enough to simply have more police on the street and put more people into prison. Do you agree or disagree?

It is suggested that primary children should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?