In spite of the advances in medicine, many people around the world still die of easily preventable diseases. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

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Over the past few decades, there

Wrong verb form

has been

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a tremendous increase in the number of

people

Use synonyms

questioning modern medicine's efficiency. One of the main reasons for

this

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worrying trend is

due to

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the fact that some essential treatments are pricy.

However

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, there are solutions readily available to tackle

this

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problematic issue,

such

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as financial aid from governments.

To begin

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, there is an argument to be made that it has always been challenging for

people

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, especially the poor, to afford medical care, simply because they are extremely expensive.

For example

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, the average visit to a doctor in the USA usually

cost

Wrong verb form

costs

show examples

100-300 dollars,

while

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the minimum wage per hour is merely 7 dollars.

For

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this

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reason, it is evident that innovations alone

could not

Wrong verb form

cannot

show examples

enhance the survival rate of a person, other factors

such

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as money

also

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play a significant part in it. What is more, an unjustified salary of health care providers

also

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results in a shortage of workers in the fields, allowing more room for mistakes which may lead to the death of the patients.

This

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being the case, it can be assumed that if

people

Use synonyms

are not in a position to take advantage of it, any breakthrough is meaningless. In order to resolve

this

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troubling issue, one viable solution would be for governments to partially subsidize hospital bills for the

people

Use synonyms

For example

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, in Thailand, there is a campaign where patients only respond for half of the price and the other half will be covered by the states, ensuring citizens obtain necessary medical attention.

Therefore

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it is clear that

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the government can greatly reduce

such

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incidents by enforcing laws or policies, as

this

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could be sustainably done.

Furthermore

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, other forms of support

such

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as scholarships or salary

raise

Fix the agreement mistake

raises

show examples

could encourage

people

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to attend medical schools, increasing the number of medical staff in the workforce. With

this

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in mind, there is no doubt that

people

Use synonyms

stand a better chance of recovering if governments step up and financially support them. In conclusion, the overwhelming evidence seems to suggest that money is one of the major explanations as to why some basic illnesses can still be life-threatening.

However

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, it is still possible to turn the tide if the government come forward with plans aiming to free citizens from financial burdens.

meenii0427Sun Jul 09 2023

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task response

Ensure that your arguments directly address the question prompt and put forward relevant points and examples to support your ideas.

coherence and cohesion

Maintain a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. Use cohesive devices effectively to link ideas and paragraphs.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

378 words

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In spite of the advances in medicine, many people around the world still die of easily preventable diseases. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions?

Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence?

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantage

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shred freely. Discuss both views and give your opinion.