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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say that what children watch influences their behaviours. Others believe the amount of time they spend on television influences their behaviours the most. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #children #influences #behaviours #amount #time #television
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Children are like plain paper and learn different things as their age grows. There is an ongoing debate among people whether watching television influences their nature or if they change it by observing real people in daily life. Those who argue that social media affect child behaviours have many reasons, and the most prominent one is that it hits their emotion. Spending a lot of time watching movies or other kind of show, give them a new motivation to be like a particular movie character,
however
, it can be both positive and negative.
For example
, when watching a cartoon, some toddlers learn counting numbers or ABC,
similarly
, young kids try to
adapt
Correct your spelling
adopt
show examples
 the attitude of a person they watched in the movie. Some individuals learn good manners,
while
 a few
adapt
Correct your spelling
adopt
show examples
 a negative approach.
On the contrary
, it is not wrong to say that Children learn whatever they watch around them
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because their first stage of learning starts at home, where they watched their parents and try to behave in the same way as their family do.
For instance
, if a father helps her wife with the household work , it will put a positive effect on the child and he or she will do the same when notices that their mother needs an additional hand.
Moreover
, nature change can
also
 be observed in school students. It is very common in school that not all peers are good, there can be some bad kids and accompanying them can lead to negative behaviours,
such
 as the use of abusive language.
To sum up
, in my opinion, I believe that society put more influence on children's behaviour as initial learning begins at home ,,
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 tv programs
also
 trigger their attitude which lasts for a short span.
Submitted by vinder323 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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