IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Influence of human beings on the world’s ecosystem is leading to the extinction of species and loss of biodiversity. What are the primary causes of loss of biodiversity? What solutions can you suggest?

People’s activities are causing a
loss
Use synonyms
 of biodiversity.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine the causes of
this
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 worldwide issue and some possible solutions. In my experience, it can be seen that the main reasons for
this
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loss
Use synonyms
 are cutting down
trees
Use synonyms
 and littering.
Trees
Use synonyms
 play an essential role in providing humans with oxygen, and without them, we cannot breathe.
For instance
Linking Words
, if the problem of having fewer
trees
Use synonyms
 in the jungle increases,
then
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 the risk of death will rise. Because of that, the number of individuals on Earth will decrease.
Furthermore
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, lettering is one of the most effective aspects that unfortunately a large number of adults and little kids do as something normal. Throwing garbage randomly in public places can kill many animals, even though, there is a large number of bins.
For example
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, having a dirty sea
that is
Linking Words
 full of trash could kill fish. To my mind,
this
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 problem can be solved by promoting awareness and imposing some fines. Having awarded citizens who know that it is dangerous to litter and cut down
trees
Use synonyms
, will mitigate the
loss
Use synonyms
 of biodiversity. Because of that, we will never hear about dead brutes, burnt woods, or even dirty lakes.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the next step in fighting
this
Linking Words
loss
Use synonyms
 is to impose fines, because individuals are always worried about losing their money, which will make them stop littering, to not pay. In conclusion, activities made by humans are not just affecting animals and their lives in the woods, but the environment in general.
However
Linking Words
, there are many solutions that could
alleviate
Correct pronoun usage
alleviate this
show examples
, like raising awareness and imposing some fines.

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Task Response
Your introduction clearly states the topic, but it could be clearer about the focus of the essay by specifically naming the causes and solutions.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your ideas better. Each paragraph should focus on one main point, which will help your readers understand your arguments easily.
Task Response
Use more specific examples for each point. For example, when talking about littering, you could mention specific types of wildlife affected.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to use transition words (like 'firstly', 'next', 'finally') to connect your ideas. This will improve the flow of your essay.
Task Response
You have a clear understanding of the topic and the urgency of the issue.
Task Response
The solutions you suggest are practical and show your concern for the environment.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Ecosystem
  • Extinction
  • Biodiversity
  • Habitat Destruction
  • Urbanization
  • Deforestation
  • Agricultural Expansion
  • Pollution
  • Contaminants
  • Climate Change
  • Overexploitation
  • Invasive Species
  • Nature Reserves
  • Marine Protected Areas
  • Sustainable Practices
  • Industrial Discharge
  • Carbon Emissions
  • Renewable Energy
  • Energy Efficiency
  • Reforestation
  • Public Awareness
  • Legislation
  • Habitat Restoration
  • Wetland Restoration
  • Coral Reef Rehabilitation
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