In some countries, the number of shootings increase because many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer. Acros

#countries #shootings #people #guns #home #support #acros

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Crime is increasing day by day in many countries and shooting

people

Use synonyms

is one of them. Some folks believe that having weapons at home is the main cause of

this

Linking Words

. I disagree with

this

Linking Words

statement

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because a lot of

people

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keep guns for self-defence only.

To begin

Linking Words

with, there are a number of reasons why

people

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shoot others.

Firstly

Linking Words

, nobody shoots without a motive.Holding a gun does not encourage shooting, there are always hidden reasons, which lead

people

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to hit others.

For example

Linking Words

, there was a new showed on IVT television channel that a 19-year-old man shot a senior citizen lived next door and neighbours were arguing that the boy

shoot

Wrong verb form

shot

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because he was drunk and had a gun at home,

however

Linking Words

after an

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

investigation it was found that they both have some personal issues.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, with the extensive growth of robberies and break-ins, majority of the

people

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get weapon licences for self-defence and when they come across any criminal activities they

used

Wrong verb form

use

show examples

these to protect themselves or their families, which sometimes

counted

Wrong verb form

counts

show examples

as killing.

Additionally

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, when someone wants to kill anybody, they do not need a weapon as there are many other ways to do it.

However

Linking Words

, there should be some restrictions before issuing a licence, a proper background check must be required.

Moreover

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, weapon sellers should

also

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need to be more careful before selling.

To sum up

Linking Words

, with the rapid emergence of crime,

people

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feel unsafe and buy guns for their protection and not to hurt others. But strict parameters must be set before allowing anyone to keep a gun at home.

Submitted by vinder323 on Sun Jul 09 2023

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task response

Improve task response by directly addressing the prompt and presenting a clear stance.

coherence cohesion

Enhance coherence and cohesion by organizing the essay into clear paragraphs and providing better overall structure.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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In some countries, the number of shootings increase because many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer. Acros

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

These days, more and more people move away from the area where they were born and brought up when they become adults. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Write a letter to a city planning manager about demolition of a historical building in your area and say – Explain why it shouldn’t be demolished. – Suggest a future use for this building. – Recommend a way to raise money for repairs.

Many parents today organise extra classes for their children after school and at the weekends. Do you feel that this is a worthwhile thing to do or do you feel children have enough education at school?

Art classes such as painting or drawing are important for children’s development, so it should be compulsory in high school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think this is good for the world of sports, while others think there are disadvantages of this. Discuss both sides and give your opinion