In some countries, the number of shootings increase because many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer. Acros

#countries #shootings #people #guns #home #support #acros

Crime is increasing day by day in many countries and shooting

people

is one of them. Some folks believe that having weapons at home is the main cause of

this

. I disagree with

this

statement

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because a lot of

people

keep guns for self-defence only.

To begin

with, there are a number of reasons why

people

shoot others.

Firstly

, nobody shoots without a motive.Holding a gun does not encourage shooting, there are always hidden reasons, which lead

people

to hit others.

For example

, there was a new showed on IVT television channel that a 19-year-old man shot a senior citizen lived next door and neighbours were arguing that the boy

shoot

Wrong verb form

shot

show examples

because he was drunk and had a gun at home,

however

after an

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

investigation it was found that they both have some personal issues.

Furthermore

, with the extensive growth of robberies and break-ins, majority of the

people

get weapon licences for self-defence and when they come across any criminal activities they

used

Wrong verb form

use

show examples

these to protect themselves or their families, which sometimes

counted

Wrong verb form

counts

show examples

as killing.

Additionally

, when someone wants to kill anybody, they do not need a weapon as there are many other ways to do it.

However

, there should be some restrictions before issuing a licence, a proper background check must be required.

Moreover

, weapon sellers should

also

need to be more careful before selling.

To sum up

, with the rapid emergence of crime,

people

feel unsafe and buy guns for their protection and not to hurt others. But strict parameters must be set before allowing anyone to keep a gun at home.

Submitted by vinder323 on Sun Jul 09 2023

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task response

Improve task response by directly addressing the prompt and presenting a clear stance.

coherence cohesion

Enhance coherence and cohesion by organizing the essay into clear paragraphs and providing better overall structure.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

263 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some countries, the number of shootings increase because many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer. Acros

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many governments think that economic progress is the most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people think that success in life comes from ard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Dicuss both views and give your opinion

Some people argue that if children behave badly, their parents should accept responsibility and also be punished for the behavior of their children. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

There is an increase in the number of parents choosing educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to schools. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?