In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
In numerous countries
people
's life spans have extended compared to the past. There is an opinion that senior Use synonyms
people
might provide some issues for government authorities. Use synonyms
However
, there is a different way of thinking that old Linking Words
people
ensure advantages for Use synonyms
society
.
On the one hand, it's undeniable that the expansion of the Use synonyms
aging
population creates issues with rising demand for healthcare systems, social security and pension funds. Change the spelling
ageing
For example
, South Korea and Japan are near to collapse of pension funds. It led to old Linking Words
people
struggling with a penny to ensure their lives. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, to make all bills paid government allowed to work as a taxi driver for Linking Words
people
over 60 years old and Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
had
led to an increase in accidents on the streets.
Wrong verb form
has
On the other hand
, of course, Linking Words
pensiones
should not be left out of life. Long life spans show that the healthcare system provides good service. In Correct your spelling
pensioners
Europe
old Add a comma
Europe,
people
have enough savings to spend the rest of their lives in good condition and travel all around the world. Most Europeans live in Turkey for half a year to enjoy sunny weather and warm sea.
Use synonyms
Moreover
, government authorities as a social service are creating a lot of programs to keep old Linking Words
people
a part of Use synonyms
society
. Use synonyms
For example
, social workers teach mature Linking Words
people
new professions which are suitable for their age and physical health, Use synonyms
therefore
aged Linking Words
people
are still a useful part of Use synonyms
society
.
In conclusion, finding ways to make old Use synonyms
people
feel comfortable, healthy, useful and productive could be a challenging task for new generations. Because there are more advantages to keeping them in Use synonyms
society
than disadvantages.Use synonyms
Submitted by polinaukhalova.my on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
To enhance the logical flow of your essay, consider using more transitional phrases to clearly connect your ideas between and within paragraphs.
task achievement
Ensure that all points are equally developed. For instance, the paragraph discussing Europe and Turkey could benefit from more detailed examples and explanations to better support your points.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively summarize your main arguments, contributing to a cohesive essay.
relevant specific examples
You included relevant and specific examples, particularly about South Korea and Japan, which strengthened your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.