IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, new technologies have come to
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 leading to
people
Use synonyms
 living longer. There is a debate about whether elderly
people
Use synonyms
 create problems for governments or not. Personally, it is beneficial to have more elderly in society to teach and train the younger generation of
people
Use synonyms
. To start with, old
people
Use synonyms
 have a considerable amount of experience
that is
Linking Words
 useful for youngsters. The Elderly’s long careers show that they are skilled, so they can share their experience, teach their skill , and give advice to a new generation of
people
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it would be beneficial to have elderly
people
Use synonyms
 as mentors in the workplace teaching young
people
Use synonyms
 to work effectively.
However
Linking Words
, elderly
people
Use synonyms
 have terrible
health
Use synonyms
, which suggests that they are not capable of working hard, and governments have to pay their
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 costs.
In contrast
Linking Words
, nowadays,
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 has been improved more than before to cure and make them healthy; the elderly can take good
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 and maintain their fitness. They can still work and use their experience and skill to train new workers.
This
Linking Words
 suggests that
health
Use synonyms
 is not a problem for elderly
people
Use synonyms
 even though they have to take
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 frequently.
This
Linking Words
 confirms that having more elderly
Use synonyms
people's
Change noun form
people
show examples
 advantages outweighs the disadvantages. In conclusion, it is certain that having more elderly
people
Use synonyms
 in society has more advantages than disadvantages. Elderly
people
Use synonyms
 are experienced and skilled, so it would be advantageous and useful if they teach their skills or give advice to young
people
Use synonyms
 to work effectively.
However
Linking Words
, the elderly may have
health
Use synonyms
 problems which cost the government money, but the improvement in
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 shows that they can maintain their
health
Use synonyms
 to be healthy.
This
Linking Words
 suggests that terrible
health
Use synonyms
 is not the problem since
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 is good these days.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ageing population
  • benefits
  • disadvantages
  • advantages
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • contribution
  • economy
  • society
  • healthcare
  • youth employment
  • community
  • intergenerational support
  • volunteerism
  • mentorship
  • increased demand
  • pension costs
  • social welfare systems
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • intergenerational conflict
  • technological adaptability
  • dependency
  • effective
  • skill development
  • employment opportunities
  • intergenerational solidarity
  • communication
  • lifelong learning
  • technological literacy
  • age-friendly
  • social policies
  • infrastructure
What to do next:
Look at other essays: