IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why do people buy imported food? What could be done to encourage people to buy local food?

#countries #people #food
It is frequently asserted that the overwhelming majority of communities opt to acquire imported
food
 rather than domestically produced
food
. There are two prominent factors to underpin
this
 assertion and ways are needed to influence society to buy locally grown
food
. Over the past decade, technological advancements have provided people with easy access to information about
food
 quality from around the world.
This
 is one of the key reasons why consumers tend to choose imported
food
. After comparing it with local
food
, a plethora of people find that imported options offer not only better taste but
also
 higher standards of quality and hygiene. Another significant factor is the effective promotion strategies used by importers to attract consumers. As a prime example, in my country, producers of imported
food
 collaborate with popular influencers, especially from countries like Korea, to advertise their
products
.
As a result
, fans experience a "fear of missing out", prompting them to unintentionally purchase and promote these
products
 on their social media, which
further
 increases demand for foreign goods. To encourage people to buy local
food
, several elements can be employed.
Firstly
, governments should implement regulations to limit the import of foreign
food
products
.
Such
 measures are crucial not only to support local
food
 production but
also
 to promote economic growth.
Secondly
, local
food
 sellers must take a more proactive role. They need to embrace the benefits of the internet by learning how to keep their
products
 fresh and healthy, using effective advertising methods, and collaborating with local governments to align with regulations. All in all, the development of technology and effective promotion techniques are two key reasons why society prefers imported
food
.
Therefore
, governments need to introduce policies to restrict imports,
while
 local sellers must improve their marketing forms to make local
products
 more attractive to consumers.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Task Response
Your essay effectively covers the prompt, providing both reasons why people buy imported food and suggestions for encouraging local purchases. Ensure you balance both parts of the task evenly in terms of depth and detail.
Coherence
For coherence, while your essay has good flow, consider strengthening the links between paragraphs and main points with clearer transitions. This will enhance the overall readability.
Cohesion
In terms of cohesion, while your ideas are well-organized, using more varied cohesive devices will further link your arguments smoothly.
Introduction and Conclusion
Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively summarizing the key points discussed.
Relevant Specific Examples
The use of specific examples, such as the collaboration with influencers, enhances your argument and makes the points more persuasive.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • allure
  • novelty
  • diversity
  • perception
  • premium
  • globalization
  • cuisines
  • economic factors
  • subsidies
  • tariffs
  • competitive
  • farm-to-table
  • eco-conscious
  • consumption
  • sustainability
  • local economy
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