IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. Your friend recently came to your birthday party and bought you an expensive present. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter • thank your friend • explain how useful the present is • arrange to meet up with your friend sometime soon Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear……………………,

#minutes #friend #birthday #party #addresses #dear……………………
Dear Kabir, I hope you are doing well. I am writing in the context
to
Change preposition
of
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 the luxurious present you got for me on my birthday.
Firstly
, I want to thank you from the bottom of
heart
Correct pronoun usage
my heart
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 for thinking highly of me and gifting me
Apple
Correct article usage
the Apple
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watch
Capitalize word
Watch
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 series 8. Honestly, I feel like crying happily because none of my
buddy
Change to a plural noun
buddies
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 ever presented me
such
 a big-budget item in my life.
Secondly
,
this
 watch was
in
Change preposition
on
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 my wishlist. After getting it, I can
consentrate
Correct your spelling
concentrate
 on my health more and workouts even better.
Moreover
, it has a lot of features like
it counts
Wrong verb form
counting
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number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of steps per day, calories burnt per day and so many other beneficial uses.
Lastly
, I feel overwhelmed and want to meet you as soon as possible so that I can not only show my gratitude towards you but
also
 we can have dinner together as there were a lot of friends
on
Change preposition
at
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 my birthday party and we did not have
good
Add an article
a good
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 and long talk. I will be waiting for
you
Change the pronoun
your
show examples
 reply and see you soon. Regards Simran
Submitted by preetsimran0123 on

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task achievement
You have provided a complete response to the task, addressing all points such as thanking your friend, explaining the usefulness of the gift, and suggesting a meeting.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph presents a single, clear idea.
coherence and cohesion
The greeting and closing of the letter are appropriately structured and polite.
task achievement
The letter maintains a suitable tone throughout, which is friendly and appreciative.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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