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Writing Samples
Band 7

Fewer and fewer people today right by hand using a pen pencil or brush. What are the reasons? Is this a positive or a negative development?

#people #right #hand #pen #pencil #brush #development
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In today's world, the traditional form of writing has significantly decreased. The advancement of technology is the main reason for
this
 event. I believe that
this
 improvement has positive aspects. Writing with a
pen
, pencil or brush is not popular now. The progression of technology plays a remarkable role in
this
 story.
People
 prefer to
type
instead
 of writing since it is more convenient. They only use their mobile phones to write either short or very long text, and sometimes they do not even need to
type
 because there are several online available applications that
type
 words when
people
 speak.
As a result
, individuals rarely write with a
pen
 or pencil.
Moreover
, when a letter or message is being typed, it is very clear and legible, and everybody can read it,
while
 some handwriting can cause a lot of problems
due to
 the form of writing. I personally believe that there are several benefits to
this
 development. The positive side is that
people
 are able to write wherever they are, and they do not have to look for a piece of paper and a
pen
 for writing.
Furthermore
, it helps the environment. Before, every student needed several notebooks and pens, which were made from trees.
Therefore
, many jungles are preserved as we do not use paper for our education and printing office work.
Finally
, it is safer to
type
 than write on paper.
For example
, by typing a letter, you can save it on your computer, and the chance that you miss it could be zero, and you have access to it whenever you want, either at work or on vacation.
To conclude
, handwriting is not popular among
people
 now. The convenience of typing and being readable by anyone are the main reasons that fewer
people
 use a
pen
 or pencil. it
also
 contributes to saving the environment which is a positive event . I personally recommend that everybody should learn to
type
 with a computer.
Submitted by Rosa on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay lacks a sufficient range of cohesive devices which are necessary for creating a network of ideas. Consider using transitional phrases to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
You've managed to include both an introduction and conclusion, which is good. In future essays, ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the points you will discuss, and that your conclusion summarizes your main arguments without introducing new ideas.
Task Achievement
The main points in your essay are relevant, but they need to be developed further with more detail and examples. Aim to elaborate your points with specific evidence or explanations to strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
While you've addressed the task, the response does not explore the reasons for the decline in handwriting thoroughly, nor does it sufficiently address the potential negative aspects of this trend. Striving for a balanced argument would improve the completeness of your response.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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