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Band 6.5

The gap between the rich and the poor is becoming wider; the rich are becoming richer, and the poor are getting even poorer. What problems can the situation cause? What can be done to reduce this gap?

#gap #situation
Nowadays, It has been seen that the wealthy people are becoming wealthier and lower classes are going
further
 down.
Whereas
, there are many reasons behind
this
 issue. like the increment in the goods prices
as well as
 the government’s failure to find a solution for them. In
this
 essay, I will discuss the problems and the solutions to reducing the divide.
Firstly
, The main issue for widening
this
 hole is inflation, Represented by the massive increment in goods prices for basic life needs.
Such
 as water , rent , and groceries especially for those who support their families.
For example
, In many countries like
indian
Correct your spelling
India
Indian
, you can find many extended family parents, grandparents and their children living together
due to
 high rents.
Moreover
, another reason for
this
 financial difference between rich and poor citizens is the government’s failure to fight corruption and find a solution to raise the income for the poor society. There are some solutions which can help to reduce the differences between these groups. One of these solutions is that the state should tax only those with high incomes and
also
 impose taxes on expensive property like cars and real estate.
For instance
, Globally in Islamic law taxes are taken from rich folks and returned to the poor and it is called Zakat.
On the other hand
, the government should focus on decreasing product prices and making it available to all social classes.
Therefore
, By following these steps poor folks will
also
 get a chance to stand up in
this
 society. In conclusion, The government should take the necessary steps to reduce the crack among all community classes.
Submitted by nana0072008 on

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task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt. Both the problems and the solutions provided need to be explored in more depth. Every point should be expanded with clear explanations and relevant examples for higher marks.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, focus on the flow of your essay. Make use of a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs together effectively. Also, pay attention to avoiding repetition and ensuring that the essay progresses logically from one idea to the next.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic disparity
  • crime rates
  • wealth inequality
  • social segregation
  • education gap
  • affluent
  • mortality rates
  • uneven access
  • hopelessness
  • disenfranchisement
  • progressive taxation
  • redistribute
  • quality education
  • social programs
  • economic disadvantage
  • higher wages
  • entrepreneurship
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