You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
In the world of digitalization, online purchasing is widely known, particularly for travel, magazines, and grocery shopping.
However
, it is clearly the future of buying items. The writer agrees with the statement because of the time efficiency and convenience in e-commerce whilst offline, individuals have to spend more minutes at the cashier Linking Words
as well as
experience an uncomfortable feeling.
In a fast-paced world, people tend to buy their needs through an electronic platform. Linking Words
This
is the effect of time manners efficiency facilitated in the app. As a matter of fact, they could do any other activities Linking Words
while
paying for items. Linking Words
In contrast
, people who prefer to buy things offline have to struggle and sacrifice their moment by waiting in the queue line just for the snacks they are craving. In Indonesia, Linking Words
for example
, their community preferably carry out the modern purchasing format rather than the old one since they Linking Words
then
have hours with their family and can spend moments with them Linking Words
while
waiting for the food or beverages to arrive at their house.
Linking Words
Furthermore
, it Linking Words
also
intrigues the convenient feeling of the purchasers because of the satisfaction after obtaining their effortless items. Linking Words
On the contrary
, physical buying tends to make society feel uncomfortable since they have to meet with other Individuals which could bring any disease. Linking Words
For instance
, many individuals on earth during COVID-19 feel more comfortable with the latest modern method Linking Words
instead
of the old one because of the high risk and possibility of COVID-19 spread.
In conclusion, Linking Words
although
Internet buying is becoming popular, the benefits of Linking Words
this
method outweigh the opposite. Linking Words
Therefore
, online purchasing through any supported platforms should be encouraged to develop in the future because of its safety, comfort, and productivityLinking Words
Submitted by bram.admiral on
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task response
In the introduction, provide a more balanced overview of both advantages and disadvantages of online shopping before stating your stance.
task response
Try to elaborate on the disadvantages of online shopping as well to provide a more balanced argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to maintain a seamless flow of ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Clarify some sentences to improve readability, such as the one starting with 'this is the effect of time manners efficiency facilitated'.
task response
Clear statement of the overall argument in the introduction and conclusion.
task response
Good use of relevant examples to illustrate points.
coherence and cohesion
Logical structure with clear separation of ideas in different paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present and well-related to the main points discussed in the body paragraphs.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?