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Social media, such as Facebook, Twitter, are replacing face-to-face contact in this century. Do you think the advantages of this way outweigh the disadvantages?

#media #facebook #twitter #contact #century
In the era of digital advancement, the number of social
platforms
 is increasing significantly, potentially reshaping face-to-face interactions.
While
 it could bring many benefits,
this
 development remains a subject of debate. In
this
 essay, I will discuss the advantages and drawbacks of
this
 assertion and provide my perspective. On the one hand,
this
 substitution can make connecting and interacting with others more convenient, thereby helping individuals save on travel costs and time. It might become a vital aspect of managing a fully scheduled life without the pressure of time constraints.
Moreover
, using these social
media
platforms
 can maintain relationships with distant relatives or friends through the regular updating of their daily information on their accounts.
Additionally
, many people sell items via live streams on Facebook, TikTok, or Instagram
instead
 of opening physical stores, enabling them to earn money more easily. Celebrities
also
 use these
platforms
 to generate substantial
incomes
Fix the agreement mistake
income
show examples
 from their fame.
Thus
, social
media
 plays a vital role in creating more business opportunities for individuals and contributing to the development of many countries.
On the other hand
, depending too much on these social
media
platforms
 can result in mental health issues. When direct interactions are lost, people can feel lonely and empty, leading to negative changes in their thoughts or increased stress.
This
 reliance on digital
platforms
 can
also
 diminish social skills, potentially leading to self-isolation from the real world.
Furthermore
, cyberbullying is a potential danger for users of social
media
platforms
. Many studies have shown that victims of cyberbullying are more likely to use drugs and alcohol, and in severe cases, it can even lead to suicide. In conclusion,
although
 these social
media
platforms
 could bring some cons
such
 as mental health issues, self-isolation, or cyberbullying, they
also
 create many pros related to enhancing connectivities, saving travel time and expenses, and offering new business opportunities.
Hence
, I believe that the practical benefits it brings back outweigh the drawbacks.
Submitted by cathyngo1512 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that your essay directly addresses the question by stating your position more explicitly in both the introduction and the conclusion. This will strengthen your argument and make your stance clear to the reader.
Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance coherence, work on smoother transitions between paragraphs and within them to guide the reader more effectively through your argument. This will make your essay easier to follow and more cohesive.
Task Achievement
Include more detailed, specific examples to support your main points. This will increase the persuasiveness of your argument and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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