Many people believe that playing games and watching TV programs is beneficial but for others it does not improve mental ability of children. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Many people would argue that playing
video
games
and watching
TV
programs
are helpful,
however
, others would argue that they do not improve
mental
Correct article usage
the mental
show examples
skills of
children
. I totally agree with the first argument and believe that these
games
and
programs
offer visual
stimulants
and
environment
Correct article usage
an environment
show examples
for socializing
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children
which might improve their mental abilities.
Video
games
and
TV
programs
are visual
stimulants
for
children
, stimulating their neuronal axis. Their neuronal synapses can improve with the help of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
visual
stimulants
.
As a result
of improved neuronal synapses,
cognitive
Correct article usage
the cognitive
show examples
and mental abilities of
children
might be boosted. To illustrate
this
, in the UK
children
who are playing
video
games
regularly can solve analytical problems easily and their teachers share that they will be successful in STEM disciplines in the future. These platforms provide great environments for socializing with different people. Most
video
games
and
TV
programs
include dialogues which can lead
children
to learn and understand these dialogues.
Children
can pick clear pronunciations from television
programs
and computer
games
, and
therefore
, they might learn their first words or sentences from these gadgets.
For example
, many
children
learn their first sentences or words through watching
TV
programs
and
TV
commercials, unless their parents do not intentionally teach some basic words
such
as mother or father. In conclusion, I believe spending time with
video
games
and watching
TV
programs
are beneficial, and they can improve
mental
Add an article
the mental
show examples
ability of
children
because computer
games
and
TV
programs
are visual
stimulants
and provide appropriate environments for
children
to socialize with different people.
Submitted by historicalpen on

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coherence cohesion
Include a range of cohesive devices to link ideas across the essay more effectively.
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Expand on your examples to fully illustrate how video games and TV programs can enhance mental abilities rather than simply stating the fact.
task achievement
Although you provided an introduction and conclusion, make sure the conclusion summarizes all main points rather than introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Keep each sentence clear and directly relevant to your main argument to maintain strong coherence throughout your essay.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster mental agility
  • strategic thinking
  • inspire creativity
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • intellectually stimulating
  • deep thinking
  • patience and perseverance
  • balance and content of screen time
  • active involvement
  • educational and age-appropriate
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