Some people think that music plays an important role in society other think it is simply a form of entertainment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #music #role #society #form #entertainment

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Nowadays, people think that an important role in society is

music

but others think

music

is only considered a form of entertainment. In

this

essay, I will write down my opinion and I will give the points of both views. I will totally agree with the idea that

music

is an important thing for society.

Firstly

, it helps dispel suffering, brings joy, youthfulness and

full

Add a missing verb

is full

show examples

of life.

Besides

, there is soft

music

for everyone to listen to when working or there is funny

music

that people can turn on to listen to when having fun.

Secondly

music

can

also

have a great impact on human development.

For example

, pregnant women often let unborn babies listen to

music

right from the time they are in the womb, which will help them to form and develop better thinking.

On the other hand

, there are some ideas to express the second point of view in

this

essay. Currently,

music

activities are often held in the summer so that pupils

as well as

students can participate in long vacations.

For example

, RapViet and The Voice are two programs held regularly for people to have the opportunity to show their talent and passion for

music

Moreover

, thanks to those entertainment

music

programs, we have more young singers so that they can achieve their dreams and compose more good works. In conclusion,

music

is an important part of our lives, it can help us relieve stress and help us achieve our passion for singing.

Submitted by phuongank1511 on Tue Jul 11 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

248 words

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Some people think that music plays an important role in society other think it is simply a form of entertainment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

The best way to solve the world‘s environmental problem is to increase the price of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

As is often said that “Prevention is better than cure,” For this reason, governments should spend national health budget more on the prevention of diseases than on treatment. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

People who do not use social media networks will always fall behind in career development opportunities. To what extent do you feel that this is an accurate and important prediction?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subject. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some think that experiment done on animals are cruel so it should be prohibited. To what extend do you agree?