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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many feel that happiness is mainly an individual responsibilty while others feel that there are important external factors. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#happiness #responsibilty #factors
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The ideology of
happiness
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 is a confusing
one
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. Many debate whether it is
one
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's own responsibility to be in a state of
happiness
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while
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 others disagree and believe that there are external
factors
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 that have an important contribution.
This
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 essay will discuss both views and why, in my opinion, I agree with both statements.  On the
one
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 hand, it is believed that only a person can know what makes them happy. It can be in terms of accumulating money over the years and
then
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 eventually spending big on things
such
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 as buying your dream car, the jewellery you have always wanted or
finally
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 going on that vacation you have been planning,
for instance
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. These are some reasons a person can view
this
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 as their way to a path of euphoria. Even so, if
that is
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 the case, you can see why it becomes a personal responsibility as it is a result of personal preference.
On the other hand
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, there is a belief that external
factors
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 play a bigger role in a person's
happiness
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.
This
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 can be a result of family and friend contributions.
For example
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, spending quality time together experiencing new things and making memories like going on a family vacation or spending Christmas together. To elaborate, activities that have an exchange in conversation can be enjoyable for both parties indicating that outside
factors
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 provide
happiness
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 as well.
To conclude
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, In my opinion, there are reasons why
happiness
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 can be down to you or outside
factors
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 and so,
due to
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 that, I see them as equally important because I believe you can not have
one
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 contribution without the other.
Submitted by amaladem24 on

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task response
Provide more specific examples and details to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your ideas are well-connected and organized in a clear and logical structure.
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