most countries have traditional celebrations that occur annually. in your opinion, what benefits do these celebrations have for society?
Countries have different traditional festivals that occur each year. In my opinion, these celebrations have several benefits for their society.
These ceremonies have
been happened
in different countries which is their heritage and reviving Change to the active voice
happened
their
history of their specific Change the word
the
anccester
. Correct your spelling
ancestors
moreover
, these events have been their own professional food festivals, dance exhibits or
new year ceremonies which occurred for several decades. So, they must be continued Correct word choice
and
this
circule
to not only force all children to know more Correct your spelling
circle
detailed
about their culture and heritage but Replace the word
details
also
it can be the
tourist attraction Correct article usage
a
in
each year. Tourists are the biggest point of the Change preposition
apply
countries
Change noun form
country's
bussines
. It can make many developments in the society. Correct your spelling
business
For example
, as the
tourism Correct article usage
apply
grow
the money Correct subject-verb agreement
grows
mechanisem
will be working and developed. Each civilization has to retell these myths and take their benefits out of Correct your spelling
mechanism
this
. Not only the finantial
advantages but Correct your spelling
financial
also
their heritage and intrinsic ones.
In conclusion, traditional celebrations that occur in different nationalities have a lot of benefits for both society and next
generation.Correct article usage
the next
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite