IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Social media addiction: Many people believe that social networking sites such as Facebook have a negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#media #addiction #people #sites #facebook #impact #individuals #society
In the era of globalization and modern
technologies
Add a comma
,technologies
show examples
people
 and children are becoming addicted to social networks. Many individuals believe that social
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
such
 as Facebook have
adverse
Add an article
an adverse
show examples
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
 on
people
's lives, and I partially agree with
this
 statement. The objective of
this
 essay is to examine
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
 and drawbacks of the Internet in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. On the one
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 social networks
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 changed
human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
 lives
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the better and
convenient
Correct quantifier usage
more convenient
show examples
 side.
In other words
 with the help of the
Internet
Add a comma
,Internet
show examples
 citizens can easily get access to everything. As an example of
this
,
people
 can contact their relatives and friends with whom they have lost connection, nowadays technology has improved so much that we can find anyone on the web only knowing their name and surname. In consequence, inhabitants find their old acquaintances anew and do not cut off contact with
people
 they cannot meet in life.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
people
 have become
inclinned
Correct your spelling
inclined
 to live in social
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
. In other quarters,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of social media users almost do not live in their real life, they do not meet up with their friends and family.
For instance
, for fascinated
users
Add a comma
,users
show examples
 it is more important to search the net and easier to text a message rather than going outside.
Therefore
,
people
 become
clained
Correct your spelling
chained
claimed
 to their
bed
Fix the agreement mistake
beds
show examples
 and
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 an abnormal number of
diseas
Correct your spelling
disease
diseases
 caused by gadgets.
To sum up
, all
aforementioned
Correct article usage
the aforementioned
show examples
 points social networks provide
people
 with big problems with health and communication with society in real life. As far as I am concerned, if
people
 had not been that addicted to their phones, the problem would be easily solved.
Submitted by amina07id on

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