In many countries, there are a lot of students who commit suicide each year. What are the reasons for this? What are the solutions?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Recently the phenomenon that has been brought into focus is that a high proportion of the young generation intends to take their own lives annually. Some would concur that losing control over life and bearing high pressure from
parents
Use synonyms
and surrounding communities are held accountable for
this
Linking Words
problem. To curb the suicide rate,
parents
Use synonyms
and
governments
Use synonyms
could provide a course of action. It is well known that
parents
Use synonyms
interfere too much in their children’s lives and that societies putting too much pressure on children would highly correlate with a high rate of self-destruction. First and foremost,
parents
Use synonyms
may perceive to be more experienced than their children in decision-making processes, which could ignore their children’s arguments in discussions.
This
Linking Words
action would create a sense of unrespected in their
adolescents
Fix the agreement mistake
adolescence
show examples
, triggering the use of misbehaviour as a means of expressing their independence.
In addition
Linking Words
, societies
would
Verb problem
apply
show examples
impose high pressure on young generations to achieve excellent performance, creating emotional stress and deteriorating behaviour. To illustrate, in South Korea,
due to
Linking Words
intensive studying to get high scores on university entrance exams, various students are diagnosed with symptoms of mental disorders. It is unchallengeable that misbehaviours and mental exhaustion are the sources of self-destruction. There are several actions that
parents
Use synonyms
and
governments
Use synonyms
could offer to address the described problem.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
parents
Use synonyms
would involve their children in making decision process.
Instead
Linking Words
of exercising too much control over their offspring,
parents
Use synonyms
would offer them advice and cooperate with them to achieve goals.
For instance
Linking Words
, in
modern-society
Correct your spelling
modern society
show examples
models,
parents
Use synonyms
would be encouraged to participate in orientation days with their adolescents to define careers.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
governments
Use synonyms
can ensure that students have access to independent confidential sources of help. Telephone hotlines set a good example for authorities’ efforts to support younger generations. It seems quite clear that both
parents
Use synonyms
and
governments
Use synonyms
take the course of action simultaneously to prevent suicide. In conclusion, it is vital to acknowledge that over-controlled attitudes from
parents
Use synonyms
and pressures from societies
would be
Verb problem
are
show examples
the roots of deteriorating behaviours. To decline suicidal tendencies, families and authorities should behave in the best interests of their students.
Submitted by sinh.ielts on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
To improve task response, provide a more detailed analysis of the reasons for suicide among young people and suggest more varied solutions. Make sure to address all aspects of the prompt in depth.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, use more cohesive devices such as transition words and phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. Ensure a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: