Many think that religion should be taught in schools while others think it should be avoided. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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It is generally believed by some people that

religion

Use synonyms

lessons should be delivered at academic institutions,

while

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others argued that it is not necessary at all. Both sides of the debate will be elaborated on, In my point of view, I believe that religiousness matter is a crucial factor in mankind to build their character ,especially in kindness and compassion. Proponents of teaching

religion

Use synonyms

schools

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argue that it can contribute to a comprehensive education that promotes understanding and tolerance.

To begin

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with, religiousness play a significant role in shaping the beliefs, value, and good deeds around society in the world. Introducing

this

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education in formal academic life will shape and foster their characters to accept diversity and be respectful to each other. It provides an opportunity for individuals to learn about the rich historical, ethical, and philosophical aspects associated with various religions, promoting a more inclusive and interconnected society.

For example

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, every

religion

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teaches pupils how to show their compassion,

love

Correct word choice

and love

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, and embrace humanity to God’s creatures, regardless of their race, nationality, faith, and ethnic group.

On the other hand

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, opponents argue

religion

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should not be introduced in

schools

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because

schools

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must be neutral and private.

Firstly

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, some

schools

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said they merely focus on STEM and social-economic subjects because they need to come up with solutions to the current and future problems in society

such

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as dealing with climate change, electric vehicles, and

artificially

Change the word

artificial

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intelligence,

while

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they think

religion

Use synonyms

is indoctrination subjects that must be taught in a private room.

Moreover

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, modern people are more liberal and secular, they think

religion

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is exclusive and is boundaries in the middle of diverse environments and cultures. To illustrate, In Indonesia, there are several

schools

Use synonyms

prominent

Change preposition

apply

show examples

which mean they are limited for

certain

Add an article

a certain

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group and less diverse in background. In conclusion,

although

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some argue that

religion

Use synonyms

should not be taught in

schools

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because it's only indoctrination and exclusiveness, I am certain that it encourages students to have good deeds and embrace positivity to be full of love.

Submitted by darmasamuelhutajulu on Wed Jul 12 2023

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

336 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

religious education
multi-faith society
values and ethics
tolerance
diversity
religious freedom
secular education
curriculum
worldviews
interfaith dialogue
religious literacy
moral guidance
cultural understanding
critical thinking
respect
indoctrination
religious beliefs
secular state
religious extremism
academic subject

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Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be case ? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed ?

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount that people can earn. Discuss both views and give your option.

some people think that children should be homeschooled when they are very young, while others think it is better for them to attend kindergarden. To what extend do you agree or disagree?