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Band 5

Some people believe that there will be a reduction in air travel in the future. Do you think that this trend is a positive or negative development?

#people #reduction #air #travel #future #trend #development
Nowadays, many
people
 think that in years to come, the number of flights will be reduced. I think
this
 is unfolding in society for two reasons.
First,
it will be hard to travel overseas and
secondly
, it will be very expensive.
Air
 travel presents both benefits and drawbacks. One disadvantage is that
air
 transport causes pollution which is harmful to the climate. Planes and other
air
 equipment produce gas emissions which create carbon dioxide harmful to plants and animals.
For example
, when the rockets fly into space they produce certain pollutants which spread into the
air
.
Therefore
, using too much
air crafts
Correct your spelling
aircraft
show examples
 reduces oxygen and increases carbon dioxide.
However
, minimising the number of aircraft in the
air
 will cause anxiety to many
people
 worldwide. Travelling by
air
 makes it easier for
people
 to visit family and friends in countries where travelling by road is impossible. To illustrate,
people
 living in some parts of Africa can not visit Australia by road or sea but only by
air
.
Hence
, having a reduced number of planes will mean expensive flights and fully booked schedules,
consequently
, it will be hard for families to meet together.
In addition
, having a reduction in helicopters, planes or jets will mean driving long hours to get to a different state or country.
Instead
 of arriving there in 2 hours by plane, citizens will be required to take a 9-hour road trip.
As a result
, most residents will avoid travelling to areas where they can not fly.
It is clear that
air
 transport provides benefits to the busy population in general.
To sum up
, cutting down on
air
 travel is considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a negative development because of the barriers it creates on
people
's abilities to immigrate overseas,
as well as
 the long hours of
drive
Wrong verb form
driving
show examples
 to other places.
Submitted by deborahmmunengami on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion of the essay are clearly present and fulfill their purpose. Additionally, work on structuring the essay in a way that logically connects the main points.
task achievement
The task response needs improvement in terms of providing a complete and clear response with relevant specific examples. Ensure that the main points are thoroughly supported with appropriate details and examples.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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