IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

(17/01/2015) Some people think that there should be some strict controls about noise. Others think that they could just make as much noise as they want. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #controls #noise
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays,
noise
 pollution has become a common problem in our modern society. There is an opinion that
noises
 should be strictly controlled.
While
 others think that
people
 have the right to make
noise
 as much as they want. I will analyze both sides and give my thought on them. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, everyone has every right to make
noises
 if they want. It’s a basic thing in
life
, everything required
produce
Fix the infinitive
to produce
show examples
noises
, from communicating with each other to
laboring
Change the spelling
labouring
show examples
.
People
 produce
noises
 to express their needs or their desires, but that does not mean they can disturb
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
’ peace and personal space. There are enjoyable
noises
 and there are unbearable
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
, based on each individual’s preference, so it’s advisable to produce
noise
 in
discipline
Add an article
the discipline
show examples
.
On the other hand
, the government should
control
 the unpleasant
noises
.
Firstly
, too much
noises
Fix the agreement mistake
noise
show examples
 can affect the well-being of
people
, they can badly influence the residents’ hearing ability and mental health. In that case, the
noises
 that cause health
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the human being should
strictly
Add a missing verb
be strictly
show examples
 banned.
Secondly
, as I have mentioned, there are
people
find
Correct pronoun usage
who find
show examples
noises
 unbearable,
such
 as the
noise
 from construction
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 or loud
market places
Correct your spelling
marketplaces
show examples
. With
such
noises
, the authority has the power to
control
 them and return
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
peace to the
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
. Yet,
noises
 should not be strictly
ban
Wrong verb form
banned
show examples
 because
noises
 are inevitable,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
 government can’t have absolute
control
on
Change preposition
over
show examples
 them. They can create laws to prevent the
noises
 to go overboard and disturb other residents’
life
 and health. In conclusion,
noises
 are
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 indispensable part
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 modern
life
 where many activities that make
noise
such
 as constructing
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
 are rising. That does not mean we can’t stop the
noises
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
 badly
affect
Wrong verb form
affecting
show examples
 our
life
, the government can
control
 them to help citizens have a healthy, peaceful and productive
life
.
Submitted by quynhtranhbh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • noise pollution
  • quality of life
  • noise levels
  • stress
  • disturb sleep
  • imposing legal restrictions
  • peaceful living environment
  • tolerance levels
  • personal freedom
  • business operations
  • designated quiet zones
  • commercial and industrial zones
  • urban areas
  • public awareness campaigns
What to do next:
Look at other essays: