IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

People believe that they should keep all the money they earn and should not pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is argued that individuals have the freedom to retain all the incomes they get without contributing to the state governments.
While
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 there are many reasons why so many individuals tip the balance in favour of
this
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 behaviour, I disagree with the proposal and I do believe that it is their obligation to make a contribution to the
taxation
Use synonyms
 system. On the one hand, it is understandable that so many residents are reluctant to pay the
taxation
Use synonyms
.
To begin
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 with, the disposable income would equip them with higher security to deal with the emergency in their daily lives and even in their professions with ease.
Secondly
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, the large amount of money would
also
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 stimulate consumption, and
thus
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 inject energy into the market as a whole.
As a result
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, the national economy would be promoted
accordingly
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.
Additionally
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, these inhabitants lack confidence towards their governments, which has been undermined by a series of corruption
gradually
Rephrase
apply
show examples
.
For example
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, they are suspicious that the incomes would be properly used to facilitate public welfare. Under
such
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 circumstances, they prefer to dispose of the earnings by themselves.
In addition
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, all members of a society have autonomy over their wages since the salary is earned through their labour.
On the other hand
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, the practice that exempts citizens from paying taxes would have detrimental impacts on society as a whole, and
taxation
Use synonyms
 plays a pivotal role in society.
Firstly
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, governments are in
needy
Replace the word
need
show examples
 of funding to maintain their regular operation of the whole nation and even improve the living standards of their citizens.
For instance
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, the authorities can allocate the revenue from taxes to infrastructure, including better education, improved medical conditions and enhanced traffic system.
Besides
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, they can empower the national defences and provide them with a higher level of security.
Next,
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the
taxation
Use synonyms
 system is an effective means to redistribute salary and narrow the gap between the rich and the poor, which greatly
promote
Correct subject-verb agreement
promotes
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 social equality.
Thirdly
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, the imposed money can
further
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 be used to pay for the pensions of elderly people. In conclusion, my view is that
taxation
Use synonyms
 plays a pivotal role in the development of a nation, and all inhabitants are obligated to pay for it.

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task response
Ensure that your essay fully addresses the task prompt. Add more specific examples to support your arguments. Use transition words and phrases to improve coherence and cohesion in your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay shows a good logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. Use transition words for better flow and coherence. Add more specific examples to support your main points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • contribute
  • welfare
  • public services
  • progressive taxation
  • distribution of wealth
  • civic duty
  • social cohesion
  • tax evasion
  • economic disparities
  • social unrest
  • individual rights
  • societal responsibilities
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