IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people are now using smartphones to complete everyday tasks. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

In today's
time
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, Numerous
people
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 used to finish their daily tasks by operating smartphones.
Although
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,
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apply
show examples
this
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 advancement has drawbacks
such
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 as losing human physical interaction
along with
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 overuse or overreliance on mobile, there are some benefits, the foremost essential
one
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 is it saves ample
time
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 for transportation and makes life uncomplicated. I will discuss both perspectives in
this
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 essay. On the
one
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 hand, technical evolution to complete the daily work can lead to a lack of physical meetings with the social community because it will definitely cut down the communication skills and activeness in society.
Moreover
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,
this
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 progress can make public overuse and overreliance on mobile which can lead to addiction to
technology
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.
For example
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, Oxford University has revealed that
people
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 who use mobile to complete everyday duties can lower their social activities.
However
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,
this
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 evolution will make good habit to utilize
technology
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 properly.
On the other hand
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, for
people
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 who use smartphones for their work, it saves a lot of
time
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 to invest somewhere else
such
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 as a technical course to adapt the skill.
This
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 development will make
people
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's lives way better than anything before because , with
one
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 touch, mobile can complete their tasks.
One
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 more point is that
people
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 will have varied ways to complete their jobs using
technology
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.
For instance
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, my childhood friend is very updated and he utilizes his mobile to complete his tasks on
time
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.
To conclude
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, humans with
technology
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 make a good combination to make lives perfect.
In addition
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, it can have a bad impact on human civilization to get more addicted and overreliance on it.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that links back to the question.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific details and examples to support each point you make.
both
Work on your sentence structures to avoid repetition and improve clarity.
task achievement
You clearly state your opinion on the topic in the introduction.
task achievement
You provide a balanced view by discussing both advantages and disadvantages.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphone
  • convenience
  • communication
  • device
  • relationship
  • information
  • education
  • time
  • addiction
  • interaction
  • privacy
  • data
  • problems
  • tasks
  • life
  • simple
  • enhance
  • search
  • news
  • learn
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