There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Extracurricular

activities

Use synonyms

play a vital role in the

overall

Linking Words

development of the child. In the contemporary era, teenagers are facing so much burden to get good scores in major

subjects

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Therefore

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, a few individuals opine that minor

subjects

Use synonyms

must be eliminated from the school which allows students to pay more focus on their

studies

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. I completely disagree with the above notion. To commence with, if non-academic modules are terminated from schools, children‘s physical fitness can be affected. To elaborate , youngsters are tired when they reach home after school as they spend most of their time studying and they do not have sufficient energy to play.

As well as

Linking Words

they want to relax.

Due to

Linking Words

the aforementioned reasons, schools must have

subjects

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such

Linking Words

as physical education to keep trainees fit and healthy.

Otherwise

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, they will suffer from multifarious hazardous diseases

such

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as obesity, heart attack, low eyesight

as well as

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back pain.

Further

Linking Words

strengthening the views, students will not be able to concentrate on their

studies

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properly. By continuously studying the same books without any other

activities

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, pupils can feasibly get bored which ultimately declines their percentage in their

studies

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Besides

Linking Words

, they will embark on losing interest in education after some interval.

For instance

Linking Words

, a survey conducted by Cambridge University in 2019 in the USA stated that 99% of children who scored excellent marks in exams

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

have done outdoor

activities

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along with

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their

studies

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Therefore

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, pursuing enjoyable

activities

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is essential for mental health. In conclusion,

activities

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such

Linking Words

as playing games, dancing, and cooking must be performed by every individual for remaining healthy.

Moreover

Linking Words

, it assists students to stay focussed on their education which will lead them to become a potential candidate with good mental well-being.

Although

Linking Words

the main

subjects

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are most important to individuals, extracurricular

activities

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cannot be ignored.

jashanpreetmann1515

Jul 13, 2023

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

300 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pressure
succeed
academically
non-academic
physical education
cookery
school syllabus
concentrate
academic work
well-rounded
enhancement
practical skills
balanced education system

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