Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work, while others think that it can be harmful for children. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.
The debate about paid or unpaid
work
for Use synonyms
children
has garnered varied opinions. Some individuals assert that it is conducive for Use synonyms
children
to do paid Use synonyms
work
. Use synonyms
Conversely
, others maintain that paid Linking Words
work
may have detrimental effects on Use synonyms
children
's growth. From my perspective, I favour the former opinion and believe Use synonyms
children
can benefit more from paid Use synonyms
work
.
There is no denying that engaging in paid Use synonyms
work
can potentially lead some Use synonyms
children
to develop an addiction to earning Use synonyms
money
in order to buy the things they desire. Specifically, they may be immature to think that making Use synonyms
money
is far more important than studying because they can get immediate rewards through Use synonyms
work
. Use synonyms
Consequently
, they might invest the most time in Linking Words
the
part-time jobs Correct article usage
apply
instead
of self-improvement. Linking Words
Nevertheless
, these negative effects can be addressed by limiting Linking Words
work
hours for Use synonyms
children
and regulating Youth Use synonyms
Work
Protection Law, which can not only take up their study and exercise timeUse synonyms
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
protect their rights and interests.
First of all, having a paid job enables Linking Words
children
to understand the challenges of earning Use synonyms
money
and helps them establish the correct value of Use synonyms
money
, which is beneficial for their lifetime. Use synonyms
For example
, if Linking Words
children
need to Use synonyms
work
3 hours a week to earn 50 dollars, they will not demand their parents to buy expensive toys for them as they know how much effort should be put to afford that. Meanwhile,Use synonyms
children
having paid Use synonyms
work
can relieve some Use synonyms
families'
burden that are struggling with financial issues. Numerous families are living in poverty and only rely on one or two adults' incomes to make a living, but if Change noun form
families
children
can cover their own living costs, life would be better. Use synonyms
Finally
, Linking Words
children
can get a sense of accomplishment if they get a salary after hard Use synonyms
work
, which can develop their spirit of endurance and encourage them to pursue long-term goals.
In conclusion, based on the above discussion, the advantages of paid Use synonyms
work
dwarf the disadvantages of that. It opens the door for Use synonyms
children
to have a better understanding of Use synonyms
money
.Use synonyms
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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by ensuring a clearer flow of ideas between paragraphs. Use more transitions or connectors to guide the reader.
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Clarify some of the ideas in your task response to ensure they are comprehensive. This will help in presenting a complete argument.
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Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
coherence cohesion
The main points are supported with relevant explanations, showing an understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The essay responds well to the task with a balanced discussion of both views.