IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s. #land #three #region

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s. #land #three #region
#land #three #regions #world #region
this
 pie chart depicts the information,
that is
 particular reasons which are, agricultural land is not effective enough
while
 the table gives the details,
this
 causes influenced three provinces of the universe in the 1990s.
Overall
, as acts are contrasted, the biggest proportion is in extra animal grassland
whereas
 North America and
Oceania
 show the lowest degradation compared to
Europe
. It is depicted in
this
 pie chart, there are four categories of territorial land degradation. Among these, over-grazing illustrates the highest percentage, accounting for 35% , the following is in cutting trees, which is 30%. Others comprise a quarter of 28%.
That is
 7%. Over-cultivation includes 28%. In the table,
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
 four sources influenced
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
three regions variously.
According to
 deforestation,
Europe
 reached
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 high peak with 9.8%.
Due to
 total land degraded, North America and
Oceania
 got less degraded than
Europe
, accounting for 5%, 13%, and 23% respectively. Over-cultivation is in
Oceania
 non-graded, but
Europe
 showed the greatest degree with 7.7.
Moreover
, over-grazing results in
Oceania
 were seen bigger degree than
Europe
Change preposition
in Europe
show examples
 and North America and reported their number with 11.3, 5.5 and 1.5.
Submitted by sarvinozjumayeva813 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "that is".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words oceania, europe with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "depicts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: