IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and traditional methods of food preparation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#convenience #foods #methods #food #preparation
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Since the world has been changing dramatically, some believe that controversial foods and preparation steps will one day no longer exist as a replacement for convenience
food
. I strongly disagree with
this
 assumption because traditional foods are more memorable and tasty than
another
Correct pronoun usage
other
show examples
 one. It is widely accepted among individuals that extraordinary treats are special when they come with limitations. The reason is that traditional dishes not only consume a great amount of effort but are
also
 overpriced so they only create it whether they are essential circumstances. To be more precise, when others invest more
time
 and effort, it significantly leaves an indelible imprint in the recipient’s memory.
For instance
, in China, women sometimes make noodles for their love to wish them to live their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 longer.
Moreover
, it is undeniable in some
food
Fix the agreement mistake
foods
show examples
 that the more
time
 the
food
 takes the better its flavours become. Tasty plates need
time
 to present themselves and using a quick process will enable them to pull out their peak taste.
In other words
, individuals embrace the belief that life is lived only once, motivating them to avoid wasting
time
 on unpleasant or tasteless
food
 and enjoy another
ther
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
available option
that is
 more favourable.
For example
, certain people prefer spending numerous hours in the kitchen rather than just using
only
Rephrase
apply
show examples
ready-made ones to enjoy delicious soup. In conclusion, traditional
food
 and
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
show examples
 have greater positive aspects like being unforgettable and taste-able, I,
therefore
 believe that it will be hardly a promising chance to take over from convenience plates.
Submitted by kanyanayks48 on

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task response
Your essay covers the topic, but the argument is not well-developed. You need to provide a more balanced perspective and address all aspects of the question.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they lack clarity and depth. Work on providing a more focused and cohesive structure to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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