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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many people choose to work or live abroad because of the higher standards of living they can find outside their home country. Do you think this brings more advantages or disadvantages to the people who follow this path?

#people #work #standards #home #country #path
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It is true that
due to
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 the high standard of life ,expectancy many
people
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 tend to move abroad for some considerations aiming for
better
Correct article usage
a better
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 livelihood. I personally think that
this
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 trend will deliver positive effects in the short term and negative impacts in the longer term. In terms of beneficial things gained from living abroad,
people
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 can access better public
services
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 with high standards like health and education
services
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. To exemplify, in Australia they provide free better childcare
services
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 for students who bring family ,especially for pregnant women, so the student can focus more on his study and tasks.
This
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 same condition happens in the education system that Western
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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 deliver to the student. They provide internal and external advanced facilities
such
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 as skilled professors, state-of-the-art laboratories, and update materials preparing students to work in a company or public agency that already be a mutual and patented partner with them.
Therefore
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, the student can do internships and even work there with good positions and high salaries.
However
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,
people
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 who spend most of their
time
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 abroad owing to obtain proper life will lose their national identity and at the same
time
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 experience homesickness
as well as
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 culture shock in the future
time
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. Take a good example, there are more than a hundred LPDP awardees who have already finished their study abroad and do not want to come back to Indonesia since they think that they have already settled with good life abroad,
while
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 in the contract with Indonesia ,government
it is clear that
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 they have to come back and contribute more for Indonesia.
Moreover
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, as ,human they will miss their family and their parents as well.
This
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 kind of feeling can influence their study performance and can lead them prone to mental health problems. In other case,
people
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 who are not resilient enough to the new culture needs longer
time
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 and effort to adjust to the environment and neighbourhood since
people
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 abroad tend to be more individual. In conclusion, I reckon that
besides
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 living abroad delivers positive impacts for
people
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 in terms of getting better health and education
services
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, it still creates negative effects for the future
time
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 regarding losing their nationality status and some loneliness problems.
People
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 should prepare and consider well before deciding to move to other countries.
Submitted by ieltscuns2022 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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