Nowadays, celebrities are more known for their glamour and wealth than for their achievement, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievement #sets #people

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Nowadays,

celebrities

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are predominantly known for their

glamour

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and

wealth

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rather than their actual

achievements

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This

Linking Words

shift in focus can potentially set a negative example for young

people

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. In

this

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essay, I will discuss the extent to which I agree with

this

Linking Words

statement. First and foremost, it is undeniable that the emphasis on

celebrities

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glamour

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and

wealth

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overshadows their accomplishments. Popular culture often highlights the luxurious lifestyles and extravagant possessions of

celebrities

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such

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as expensive cars, designer clothing, and opulent mansions.

This

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creates an unrealistic and materialistic image for young

people

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, encouraging them to prioritize material

wealth

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over personal

achievements

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Consequently

Linking Words

, the pursuit of fame and fortune may supersede the pursuit of knowledge, skills and genuine contributions to society.

Furthermore

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, the media plays a significant role in perpetuating the notion that

wealth

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and

glamour

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are the primary measures of success.

Celebrities

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are extensively covered in tabloids and social media platforms, showcasing their luxurious lifestyles and superficial aspects of their lives. Young

people

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, who are highly influenced by these media sources, may idolize

celebrities

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solely for their

wealth

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and appearance, disregarding the importance of hard work, dedication and talent in achieving true success.

As a result

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, they may be less inclined to pursue meaningful

achievements

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and

instead

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aspire to attain fame and fortune through alternative means. In conclusion, the prevailing focus on

celebrities

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glamour

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and

wealth

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rather than their

achievements

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can have a detrimental impact on young

people

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. It fosters a materialistic mindset and diverts attention from the importance of personal accomplishments. To address

this

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issue, it is crucial for society to promote and celebrate individuals'

achievements

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and contributions, emphasizing the values of hard work, talent, and integrity. By doing so, we can provide young

people

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with positive role models and inspire them to pursue meaningful accomplishments rather than mere superficiality.

Submitted by michellexiaedu on Fri Jul 14 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

300 words

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Nowadays, celebrities are more known for their glamour and wealth than for their achievement, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think advertisements control what we purchase, while others think they are useful sources of information on products. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people believe that studying at university or collage is the best route to a successful career. While others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Road accidents have become one of the biggest causes of fatalities nowadays. What are the causes of such accidents? How can this problem be dealt with?

Overpopulation in many major urban centres around the world is a major problem. What are the causes of this? How can this problem be solved?

Some people believe that countries should produce the food to feed their population themselves and import as little as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?