Advertisements are becoming more and more common in our everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development?

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The development of business has undeniably led to a proliferation of advertising on various forms of media. Personally, I believe that
this
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phenomenon is both positive and negative. On the one hand, there are three main benefits of advertising to society.
To begin
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with, thanks to commercials, customers can be informed of newly launched
products
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and services.
In other words
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, they are aware of the array of selections available that align with their preferences and needs;
otherwise
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, they are confined to only a narrow range of
products
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. Another noticeable advantage is that companies can reach their potential consumers, capturing more market shares and business growth.
In addition
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, the expansion of advertising can create far-reaching employment opportunities, ranging from design to photography and content writing. On a larger scale, advertising serves as a bridge between manufacturers and buyers, expanding business opportunities and raising living standards.
On the other hand
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, it is important to acknowledge the negative aspects of advertising.
Firstly
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, deceptive advertising practices can mislead consumers and result in dissatisfaction when
products
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do not meet expectations.
This
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is evident in advertisements for skincare
products
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which are all advertised as being able to boost genes and make skin look visibly younger within just one week.
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, there are no studies proving that they have abilities to do
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things.
Secondly
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, the persuasive nature of advertising can tempt people to make unnecessary purchases or acquire things that they do not really need.
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trend can lead to consumerism and potentially waste consumption.
For example
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, it has been observed that the young generation nowadays spends a huge amount of money unconsciously buying fashion items
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as clothing, shoes and bags.
This
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can be explained by the extensive exposure to advertisements available on social media like Facebook and TikTok. In conclusion,
although
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advertising has certain benefits to society, it
also
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involves deceptions and compulsive consumption. Striking a balance between the benefits of advertising and its drawbacks is essential and responsible advertising practices that prioritize transparency should be encouraged.

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task achievement
Your essay is well-structured and presents a balanced view by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of advertising. To improve further, consider elaborating on each point with more specific examples to enhance the depth of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your writing is generally cohesive, with a logical flow of ideas. However, you could improve the transitions between some paragraphs to ensure smoother connections and maintain reader engagement.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to proofread for minor grammar errors and ensure clarity in your statements. A few phrases were slightly awkwardly structured, which can hinder the clarity of your message.
task achievement
You successfully present a balanced argument, addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of advertising, which shows critical thinking and a well-rounded perspective.
task achievement
Your use of clear and relevant examples, such as the effects of advertising on the younger generation, effectively supports your points and enhances your argument.
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